Tuesday, June 22, 2010

When will it be my turn?

Short Post:

When will I get someone who wants to do this to me?




I'm just saying...

make ME wet on the back of my knees....kiss my lips... do what it do...

smh. good nite

Friday, June 18, 2010

Photoshop: the devil's work or a blessing from God!

Last night as I was in the throes of another insomnia bout, I came across this website that advertises the work of a photoshop artist. I guess I can say artist? Anyway, on the front page of his site there is a picture of Mary J Blige that he supposedly worked on, so I guess he is reputable.

Well, I start clicking on the pictures in the gallery. They are amazing. Some of are regular people for weddings or album covers and they look amazing in the after shot. But once you roll over the picture with your mouse you will see that they are old and busted like everyone else! Even the models look ordinary! This is a- ma-zing!! I NEED photoshop in my everyday life. I wouldn't have to wash my face and comb my hair... just spray on PHOTOSHOP! This stuff can even comb your fly aways... good-googly-moogly!! I could walk around with my belly hanging out singin' "Dontcha' wish ur GF was HAWT like Meh!!!" I would have long flowing hair with out having to sit for hours as Diane sewed in the Remy. My stretch marks would be history. That little bit of cellulite would be smooth as silk.SESSY!!! I'd be so bad that I'd have to repent...

So, is Photoshop good or bad?

I thought about my girl EYES, and her foray into Match.com. There was one guy she posted a picture of and he had taco meat all on his chest... No, No, No, No, No!!! Epic, colossal, fail! If he had Photoshop he could have smoothed that Mr. Brown belly and taco meat right off. He could have looked like Shamar Moore. Yummy!

But, would that have been fair to her and the other ladies? She probably would have to wait for her chance to talk to him because he would have been so popular and if he didn't have PHOTOSHOP in the can, she would have been disappointed. Suicidal even. (the sads)

But you CAN buy Photoshop!!! I remember this being bundled with our first computer, back in '99 or something. I never gave it much thought and didn't use it, But NOW there is some really good stuff out there. I can get Student and Teacher Ed. of Photoshop for about $90! Man, I could do some work to some of my Facebook photos. You know the ones that other folk put up and tag you in. I could fix that sweat on my forehead at Tony's Fourth of July party, the frizzy mess that is my hair at Ashley's graduation party, the pizza that is my face in my 10th grade chorus concert. I can rewrite history!!! I can be sessy instead of just cute.

So I am torn, is Photoshop good or bad? I know all about the body image problem it causes for young girls... it does for me too, but it sure is nice!

I guess I will go back to crunches and walks to get my Pussycat Doll body, but if they ever, I mean E-veah make a Photoshop in the can, I will be the first one in line for that stuff....Dontcha', Dontcha'!!

thanks for the video: Sealy1986

Daddy's Right

I am a daddy's girl. I love him with all of my heart. I wish that I had had him my entire life, maybe I would not be the wreck that I am. My momma married him when I was 16 and I am so glad. He is the greatest. My biggest cheerleader, defender and voice of sanity.

On the Professor front things have been quiet. We speak after church but that is the bulk of our contact. Because it was the end of the school year and I had sooo much to do I was okay with that. But somehow I got on the subject of the Professor with my dad and he laid some science on me. **LOL, just thinking of my daddy "laying science" on anybody is funny!**

We were talking about the fact that my kids are going to be with their dad on the Fourth and I wanted to find something good to do. I mentioned that I needed to get out more because my friends don't find walking around downtown that interesting and that I needed a new bunch of friends. I told him that the only person I could really hang out with is the Professor's sister Dee. She is kinda wild, but not too wild. When we go out, we are up for almost anything.. scary biker clubs, scary Jamaican clubs, Blues concerts... anything. I likened our friendship to mine with her brother. They have the same sense of humor and I love to laugh.

My dad said then why do I insist on pursuing a romantic relationship with the Professor? Why can't we just be friends? With all that I had told my dad about P's obvious affection for me, he said that P may not be ready for many reasons to have a relationship, but that did not mean that he did not like me or care deeply for me. My smart, cute, funny daddy told me to chill on the relationship and just be the man's friend. He said that the Professor may NOT be the ONE, but a prelude to the ONE.

So, I am gonna listen to my daddy. I know that this man is into me, but maybe he is not mature enough for a relationship or he is just taking some time to work on him. I don't know, but I do think that my daddy is right. Imma just chill!!!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

School's Out (almost) for the Summer!!!

I am so glad that this school year is almost over. I am so sick of these kids that I don't know what to do!!! Last year we had a rough crew. These were some "inner city " kids that were bussed in because they didn't want the year round option. I say "inner city" because in the big NC we have some rough stuff, but we ain't got nothin' on DC and NYC. The year before that we had project kids. I have been told stories of how daddy stole mommy's van while he was drunk and turned it over on the highway, that the police came into my house last night and everybody had to lay on the floor until it was over and that we ate dry cereal by candle light for dinner last night. Now those kids have an excuse for getting out of pocket and acting crazy at school.

But this year, the little white suburban kids we have are driving me crazy!!! They are the biggest bunch of entitled M-F's I have EVER seen. If I am talking to another teacher or student they think that they have to right to talk. And these are kindergartners-- they talk about NOTHING!!! Even if we tell them to shut it, they go right back to talking when we start our conversation again. Talking is just the half of it. They run and push to get into line to go anywhere... Lunch, bathroom, outside... I bet they would push each other down the stairwell to HELL!!! One girl in my after care program ran to be the first in line for water. She fell over her Crocs and BROKE HER ARM!!!!! Just so she could be first.

Today there was pushing, teasing, tattling, back talking... all before lunch. Alexandra was crying because Gabriella told her that the cat would pull down her pants. WTH??? I liked to have slapped them both. (For my Northern friends, "liked to" means almost... not sure if you knew that) Then Elijah says, Ash-ur (that's how he says Asher) says I have on a tutu. (eyes rolling so hard that they are stuck in the back of my head for 15 seconds) I just point to the other side of the room. Go. A. Way. Then I start praying aloud:
"Lord Jesus. I can't do this anymore. It is only 11.00. School just started at 9.00. Why me God? Didn't I give enough in the offering? Didn't I visit the sick and shut in? I didn't spare the rod in my own home. What did I do to deserve this? "

I open my eyes to see 20 pairs of eyes staring, mouths agape, bodies still. My co- teacher is at her desk dying from laughter. I stifle a smile and say, "What'chu looking at? I am praying 'cause I must have done something to make you act this way."

Elijah stands up and says. "Nope. We're just bad!" and he goes back to making his word family chart.

What do you say to that?

I wish I could line them up and beat them. I would take a flyswatter and tear up some tails!!! Just two more days!!! I told them today that they didn't have to come back. They had passed kindergarten and I'd mail them their report card. Bad aren't I? (smile)

I hope that the next two days are better. Like I told them today... we can have a good 3 days or a not so good 3 days. It is their choice. From the looks of today it is gonna be a rocky rest of the week!!!

Lord, help!!!!