A Thin Line...

You remember that old song from back in the day...A thin line between love and hate...

I could never get the words to the song. As a kid, love and hate are polar opposites. Complete ends of the spectrum. But, as I got older, those two ends got a lot closer. By the time I was 28 I was living this song. He would come in late at night, smelling like God only knows who/what. I couldn't take it anymore. Murder was on my mind... I finally know how love and hate could share the same breath...a thin line.~~ I left, not on my own accord, but it was for my good that I did.

Fast forward six years later and the same words are running through my mind. No, not another man, but my 16 year old son. Love/Hate? Love/Hate? He is really taking me through this. Skipping school, failing classes, not coming home at curfew. I wonder if he is doing drugs, but he has no money and nothing in the house is missing. He must be into a girl. I know he has a friend from his old high school that has just moved into our neighborhood. The arrival of this kid coincides with the plummet in grades and attitude.

I have given my kids EVERYTHING! My whole life has been dedicated to them. I take care of them by myself and given up any outside life. Church, work and school are the only things that I put any time into besides the boys. I want to let go and let him fail, but I feel that I cannot do it.

I have prayed and prayed. I guess that fasting is next. I am glad that the Spring session is almost over and that my summer classes won't start until May 18th. I can devote more time to praying over this. I will look into getting some counseling for him and us.

I am not sure what to do about this at all. I'm not used to being lost. I am usually in control of what is going on, but now I don't know what to do other than pray.

Please God, help me. I love my son and have dedicated my life to making his the best it can be. Give me the strength to continue on. Work this out for his good Lord. I give You all of the praise, honor and glory, forever AMEN!

Sassyme