Friday, April 23, 2010

Workin' with a Ni**a

Short post before work this fine Friday morning...

I am 36 years old, I have two teenagers from my 10 year marriage. I have been single for 6 years. I want to date and get back out there. I have really been focusing on the Lord, my boys and going back to school. I know I have been gone from the game a few minutes, but at my age am I STILL expected to work with a ni**a?
I mean, at this point, shouldn't he have his stuff together? I have given up on finding a 36+ man without kids, but shouldn't you have a full time job, with benefits and a retirement plan? I did not say a 401K b/c I don't have one, I have a retirement plan with my employer though. I'd like a man who is working on purchasing a home, if he doesn't already have one.

Go to church, read some books, be over trying to be Diddy. This is North Carolina for Pete's sake!! There will be no White Parties here. I don't want to roll on 22's and not have a nice place to live. Have your stuff together before you step to me!! I have already tried to raise another woman's son. NOT gonna do it again! If you are 36-40 years old you should know how to take care of your self. As your woman, I might wash your clothes, cook for you and run errands for you. But don't expect it! If you are lucky enough to marry me, then you'll get the full service treatment!

As you can tell, I have become frustrated with the dating scene. Am I wrong to want a man that is ready for me? I have waited long enough, getting my self right, to work with a Ni**A! Am I wrong?

Y'all help me out!!!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

A Thin Line...

You remember that old song from back in the day...A thin line between love and hate...

I could never get the words to the song. As a kid, love and hate are polar opposites. Complete ends of the spectrum. But, as I got older, those two ends got a lot closer. By the time I was 28 I was living this song. He would come in late at night, smelling like God only knows who/what. I couldn't take it anymore. Murder was on my mind... I finally know how love and hate could share the same breath...a thin line.~~ I left, not on my own accord, but it was for my good that I did.

Fast forward six years later and the same words are running through my mind. No, not another man, but my 16 year old son. Love/Hate? Love/Hate? He is really taking me through this. Skipping school, failing classes, not coming home at curfew. I wonder if he is doing drugs, but he has no money and nothing in the house is missing. He must be into a girl. I know he has a friend from his old high school that has just moved into our neighborhood. The arrival of this kid coincides with the plummet in grades and attitude.

I have given my kids EVERYTHING! My whole life has been dedicated to them. I take care of them by myself and given up any outside life. Church, work and school are the only things that I put any time into besides the boys. I want to let go and let him fail, but I feel that I cannot do it.

I have prayed and prayed. I guess that fasting is next. I am glad that the Spring session is almost over and that my summer classes won't start until May 18th. I can devote more time to praying over this. I will look into getting some counseling for him and us.

I am not sure what to do about this at all. I'm not used to being lost. I am usually in control of what is going on, but now I don't know what to do other than pray.

Please God, help me. I love my son and have dedicated my life to making his the best it can be. Give me the strength to continue on. Work this out for his good Lord. I give You all of the praise, honor and glory, forever AMEN!

Sassyme

Friday, April 9, 2010

Drama. This time somebody else's

I have decided to to let this thing go with D, my nephew. I love him and I know that God will take care of him.

So I have decided to turn all my experience in the investigative field (CSI, CSI:Miami and Murder She Wrote watching) to work. In most urban areas there are lots of murders and they usually stem from some sort of illegal activity of the minorities. (I know, shades of racism, but is it racism if I am black?)In Wake County, NC we have our fair share of those drug shoot out, killing baby mommas, killing over cheating or exes situations. But lately I have noticed that we have had a lot of murders of upper middle class white women. (I hate to see anybody killed, but as a black upper/lower class chick I am glad that somebody has closed open season on us in Wake County. Know what I mean?)
One of these murders got a lot of national attention. The Kathleen Peterson murder case was featured on Dateline NBC and there was even a miniseries/movie based on the case. It actually happened in Durham Co. though. More about Micheal and Kathleen Peterson here. There are several murders that are currently preparing for trial. In most of them the husband is the prime suspect. The Nancy Cooper murder hits kinda close to home. One of the families in my classroom was close to this family. More about the Cooper story here and here. But, the case that has me trying to get my Angela Lansbury on is the recent murder of a state school board member. She was murdered a few blocks from the dude that I am crushing on. This is a nice upper class old stable money neighborhood near NC State. I believe that many of the professors from the university live there. Kathy Taft was a 62 year old single woman who recovering from facial plastic surgery is found badly injured by her sister on the morning of March 6th 2010. The 911 calls and search warrants were recently released to the public. In my reading of the transcripts and other documents I have come across some weird stuff. Taft Case Documents: here and here.


Weird Stuff I Have Found in this Case
1. The murder occurred in the home of Kathy Taft's ex boyfriend. The boyfriend was out of state--in Florida at the time of the attack.
2. The sister that found the injured Taft had stayed the night at the home and according to some accounts was at home during the attack.
3. When the sister came to check on Taft after making an early run to the Harris Teeter grocery store, she found her unresponsive and covered in blood. She called 911 and the victim was transported to the hospital.
4. At the hospital a rape kit was performed and there was evidence of a sexual assault along with the massive head injuries. Taft was in a coma and died three days later.
5. Back to the sister-- She claims that she went to Harris Teeter for some stuff and locked her keys in her car a 2002 Durango. She then walked the short distance home (to ex bf's home) and got keys to Taft's Lexus and drove back to the store. Why? I don't know.
6. Then she finally checks on her sister at 11 am and calls 911. I would have checked on my sister before I left for the store. I am not sure what time she left, but the sister stated that she heard Taft snoring at 3 am. Why not check on her before going to the store?
7. A grocery store employee said that he saw a similar Durango in the parking lot with the engine running at 6 am that morning. That is odd because the store doesn't open until 7 am. Why would Taft's sister be waiting at the store a full hour before it opened? The store is so close to the home that it is visible from the house. Shoe could have gone home to wait for it to open.
8. Some of the items listed in the search warrants of the Durango, Lexus and the home are: baggie corners (smoke weed much?), hand written notes, check and checkbook, golf clubs, hotel receipt, cereal (wtf), DNA samples and latent hand prints.


What I Think This Means:
So this is the evidence on which I am going to make some assumptions. Now, remember the ASSUME acronym... but I am going ahead with what I think happened.
On one of the local news websites, people are speculating a sister suspect theory that had to do with jealousy. I am going to use that theory in my assumptions as well. It just sounds right... I think that the sisters argued over something, perhaps a man... maybe John Geil, the owner of the house where the assault took place. Maybe the sister thought that Taft was vain for having the surgery. Taft was a good looking 62 year old woman. I thought that she was in her 50's by looking at photos. Also according to the search warrants, the sister lived in an apartment in a tiny little hamlet on the NC coast. I couldn't see it on Google Maps so I am not sure how it looks, but because the address is an Apartment A address is doesn't sound that great. Taft lived in Greenville, NC and I am sure that her place was nice.

At the hospital the doctors realized that Taft had a laceration on the top to the back of her head and had been sexually assaulted. In the search warrants golf clubs were seized. I think that maybe the sister hit Taft in the head and knew that she killed her or was close to killing her so she used the handle of a club to sexually assault her. I mean, you don't have to be raped with a penis to have been sexually assaulted, right? She wanted it to look like a break in or something, but there does not seem to be evidence of one at this time.


Unlike in my show Murder She Wrote, the cops have been very tight lipped in this case. I haven't heard any conversations by the suspects or even read the statement of the sister. That is the next document that I am looking for. I also want to find some sort of time line that will give me more information. The posts from readers on WRAL.com establish that the sister locked her keys in the car, walked to the house and left again in Taft's Lexus. I cannot find that information anywhere. I don't know if that is just speculation or if I have missed something.
Well, I am gonna be like my other hometown home-girl Calleigh Duquesne from CSI:Miami (played by Raleigh native Emily Proctor) and follow the evidence. If only I had that hot Eric Delko by my side!!!


Stay tuned. I do plan to make this a regular series on this blog, as long as I can continue to get other information. In researching this post as I wrote it I did come across more intriguing information about the Nancy Cooper case pertaining to the parties involved that I know well. I will keep my eye on that one too.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Lord, Help!

I am trying to do my homework tonight but I can't. I have something weighing heavy on my mind. Most would say that it is really none of my business, but I just cannot let it go. It is so unsettling and disturbing. I have wanted to have something real interesting to say on this blog, and I guess that this qualifies, but it is disturbing none the less.

My nephew D is the best young man. He is smart, ambitious, musically gifted, truly living for Christ and only 19 years old. I love him to death!! I want my boys to grow into as lovely as a young man as their cousin is. Where's the problem you ask? Well, he is secretly dating a 26 year old woman that attends our church. I know her well and I am NOT a fan. Because I know my nephew is strong in his convictions, I am certain that they are not having sex, but I know that if he is in a serious relationship that eventually he will be looking to get married. His parents married young and have had a successful marriage, so he will try to emulate their relationship. I am all for that, but not so soon. Since this young lady is a serial dater who is chomping at the bit to be married, talk will soon lead to this. My D is in his Sophomore year of college and desiring to be a psychologist. In order to make a better salary he wants to get his Master's soon after his undergrad. He also wants to make his mark on the music industry. He is very loving, funny and more mature than any other teenager that I have met. As you can see, he is a really great package for another young co-ed, not this old chick!!!

This girl is not that bright to me and she is kinda stuck up. She sometimes acts as if she is so holy and spiritual that she is heads and tails above most. She does the stereotypical long brown hair, light bright skin and big booty. I don't think that her face is all that, but her shape is banging. I want to be tight like her. Like I said before, she is a serial dater, and while there is nothing wrong with dating lots of guys and keeping your options open, she usually gets serious with a guy fast. She tells him from the jump that she is looking for a husband. I guess that at 26 your mind could be there, but she had this mentality at 21. I bet that there have been 10 guys that she brought to church that were going to be her future hubby. Since one of our former church members got hitched and had a precious baby boy T has been salivating. She even got "engaged" to a fiiione dude last year. He was a good guy, worked two jobs, believed in having a small of a debt as possible and he was her age. I thought that they were the cutest couple. Yes, he was a little boring but with him you know that the paycheck will come home and that he will be where he says he will be. I mean, what is there to ask for. Anyway they were "engaged" because she was pushing for marriage, he kinda just went along for the ride. When he stalled on buying the ring she confronted him and he admitted that he was not ready to get married, but he still loved her. She broke it off, called him a liar, told anyone who would listen that he led her on. It was a big mess. He still tried to pursue her, but she wasn't having it. At about this time my nephew D broke up with his high school gf and this is when the two of them began to bond over their broken hearts.

Jump to eight months later, and they are seeing each other on the DL. Their parents are aware of their feelings and are trying to get them to stop and think about what they are doing, but my nephew says that he is letting God do this and that this is God's will. I ain't so sure!!!!

What I cannot understand is what she a 26 year old woman would want with this 19 year old boy. I know that I still see him as my Little Bean, but my God, what is wrong with this girl. I just found out about this by looking at pictures on Facebook. When I talked to him last night he said that they are surprised that it took this long for me to figure it out.

I know that I do not have any say in his life, but I am still messed up about it. I guess that I worry about this happening to my kids one day. One day soon I will not be able to have a say in their lives and relationships.

So, what do you readers have to say about this? Am I overreacting?

SassyMe ;)

Sunday, April 4, 2010

my so called sassy life

I have not been posting a lot, so I have not shared too much of my life and what has brought me to this point. I may not be able to share too much because it is kinda painful. So here goes.

Well, I am the eldest child of an overachiever that got knocked up by an underachiever. Not olny dies that make me a child of divorce, but a conflicted one at that. Well that overachiever did not get to take advantage of the full State School scholarship, so she went to work at night after the divorce to support me and the little sister that came along. Since my mother was so young and in the big (not very) city the old folks back home insisted that we (me and the runt) come live with them so that we wouldn't be raped. (You know, in the big city) So we did. For 6 years I lived with the Grandma and the Old Grandma. I excelled in school, grew breasts, got my period and had my first boyfriend. Life was good. That was until I started sassing (hence the moniker) the Grandma. The Old Grandma had passed on a couple years before. She was the only one who could out sass me without using the back of her hand. So that meant that we needed to move back to the big city and I started middle school and living with the Mom. Major fireworks ensued. I too am an overachiever: Honor roll, National Honor Society, All County Chorus, Soprano Section Leader, Superior Standing in State Solo Competition, Outfielder Softball... the list goes on... but like I said, that underachiever/slacker mentality is in me too and that did not bode well with the Mom. Screaming, yelling, slamming doors, throwing stuff ... Not good. All of this info is a set up for things to come...

All in all we had a great life that got better when my mom remarried. She married a man that is not my dad but he IS my Dad! He is my champion against the Mom and the Runt. No matter what, he believes in me. I am truly a Daddy' Girl. (smile) A stepsister and brother also came with the deal.

So the underachiever part reared it's head again in my Senior year. I was madly in love with the devil and I persued him relentlessly, shamelessly until I got what I wanted. He was a year younger do I had a hard time leaving him to go away to college. I absolutely had to because the overachieving mom did not get to go to college, so she was living vicariously through me.

Whew, I think that this enough for now... This next part is where it gets kinda hairy.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Good Friday

Hello all. I have been an awful Christian. I have been shopping all day with the Chreasters. You know, the folks who only go to church on Christmas and Easter. I had the best time though. I had lunch @ the Cheesecake Factory and shopped at JCPenney. I bought a killer outfit. I cannot wait to post a picture. Such fun! I know, it doesn't take much, does it?

But the reason for Sunday has nothing to do with chocolate and eggs. It has to do with what began today, 2000+ years ago. Our Savior was hung on the cross and died. But the story did not end there. He went down to sheol (Hades, place where souls went to await the Rapture) and fought the devil and He rose with all power in His hand. He has given us power over death. If we accept Christ as our Savior we don't have to fear death and where we will spend our eternity. I love You Jesus! Who would do that? If I had the power to come down off of that cross and strike my persecutors dead, I know I would! There is no doubt in my mind. I would go off like Carrie at the prom!! But Jesus didn't. He endured physical and mental anguish for hours and then went down to sheol to defeat the powers of evil and take His faithful to Heaven.

So on this Good Friday night take the time to thank Jesus for His sacrifice and begin to work on getting closer to Him. I know that I will!

Love and Peace and May God's Grace be with you...