You remember that old song from back in the day...A thin line between love and hate...
I could never get the words to the song. As a kid, love and hate are polar opposites. Complete ends of the spectrum. But, as I got older, those two ends got a lot closer. By the time I was 28 I was living this song. He would come in late at night, smelling like God only knows who/what. I couldn't take it anymore. Murder was on my mind... I finally know how love and hate could share the same breath...a thin line.~~ I left, not on my own accord, but it was for my good that I did.
Fast forward six years later and the same words are running through my mind. No, not another man, but my 16 year old son. Love/Hate? Love/Hate? He is really taking me through this. Skipping school, failing classes, not coming home at curfew. I wonder if he is doing drugs, but he has no money and nothing in the house is missing. He must be into a girl. I know he has a friend from his old high school that has just moved into our neighborhood. The arrival of this kid coincides with the plummet in grades and attitude.
I have given my kids EVERYTHING! My whole life has been dedicated to them. I take care of them by myself and given up any outside life. Church, work and school are the only things that I put any time into besides the boys. I want to let go and let him fail, but I feel that I cannot do it.
I have prayed and prayed. I guess that fasting is next. I am glad that the Spring session is almost over and that my summer classes won't start until May 18th. I can devote more time to praying over this. I will look into getting some counseling for him and us.
I am not sure what to do about this at all. I'm not used to being lost. I am usually in control of what is going on, but now I don't know what to do other than pray.
Please God, help me. I love my son and have dedicated my life to making his the best it can be. Give me the strength to continue on. Work this out for his good Lord. I give You all of the praise, honor and glory, forever AMEN!
Sassyme
Hey there gurl. Yeah you know my 13 year old brother is doing the same thing on the school tip. He just lost it. I said to my mom to let him fail, because we tried everything we could but he still chooses to be a lame-o. I know that's not want you want him to do, but he seems to be choosing his own rules anyways - like with the curfew thing. I mean what choices do you have? I always tell my mother that there are no consequences for his poor grades and behavior. He still hangs out with friends, has a cell phone, buys clothes, plays video games - my mother is so concerned about him fitting in and looking well dressed. But he is getting Fs and Ds? What incentive does you son have to do better? If he was scared of you hollering at him then he would have his ish together. So that ain't it. In my mind it goes back to consequences for your actions. At work, if you screw up you don't get a raise or you get fired. At school, if you screw up then you fail and get left back. If he doesn't abide by your rules, then....? Remember Boyz in the Hood? Angela sent Trae with his dad when he was acting up. A consequence - and also an attempt to save him from failure. I could go on and on. What do you think your game plan is going to be?
ReplyDeleteHey E,
ReplyDeleteHe actually has gotten better since I have put him on restriction. I know that it is not over, but I am feeling better about the situation. His deadbeat dad has not so much as come to our house to see what was going on.I have been monitoring every text and phone call that comes on his phone. He gives it to me when I get home and he gets it when he goes to the bus. I have the laptop and ipod too. I may give him his phone and ipod back this weekend, but he will not go anywhere until the middle of May.
He is going to start working in a couple of weeks so that is another thing that may keep him out of trouble. I wish that I could send him with his dad but his dad could care less.
This is the beginning of my game plan, but I am sure that it will need to be tweeked as we go along.
Oh what you are doing my friend is doing with her 14 year old. She took all of that like last October, and as long as his grades are mediocre she ain't giving it back. She is HARDCORE. Her son is like, "Dang how long is this gonna last?" Her reply, "As long as your grades look like shyt." Period!
ReplyDeleteOh sorry about the Dad not doing his part. That's really a shame. I don't know how a man can live with himself and not nuture his own manchild? But they do. Well I hope that he does have a male figure like an uncle that he can talk to and hang with sometimes. Let's hope the job will help him focus this summer.