Got Goals?

Hmmmmmm. Eyes, you asked if I had any goals for the New Year and I got to thinkin'.....
What is it I want to accomplish in 2011--0ther than paying my bills and not killing my kids and keeping them on the right track.

The thing that I kept coming up with is.... stop doing the same thing, falling in the same traps.
This pertains to men more than any other thing in my life. I need to stop chasing after the unavailable men in my life.

Man #1-- The Ex Husband... I must admit, I still carry a torch for the man he used to be to me. He is still sexy and can put it down, but he is not the husband, father and provider that he used to be. But he is also not the Devil that I have portrayed him to be. He's somewhere in the middle. He says that he still loves me, but I cannot go through that crap again.... So leave him alone.

Man #2-- The Professor... I really thought that I was going to marry this man, so much so that I told my ex husband how upset I was when the relationship didn't pan out. (But that was a ploy on my part to get some from the ex *yes*) I still am very attracted to him physically and financially, but he is not the man for me. He is so nerdy, part of his charm, and is a good Christian man, but there is no real chemistry there. So why can't I leave him alone?

Man #3-- The Young Buck... Such a tasty delight! Since his latest disappearance I have only had the chance to see him once. He was at band rehearsal on Sunday acting like his regular old self. I tried to keep my distance, but I couldn't. He had me laughing and flirting in no time. He even pushed all up on me and tried to get a smooch. That is where I drew the line though. I feel silly for asking him why he stood me up for my birthday, because this is supposed to be casual and all, but I feel misused. I can try to have a platonic flirtation--ship, but that is all it is going to be!!!

So, I haven;t really laid out any goals, other than leaving these fine, sexy, unavailable men alone. Isn't there anything else to my life? Hopefully buy the New Year I will have some more goals to put up. But what about you guys, do you have goals?

Nuthin' Much Here

So it has been a few weeks since I have seen the young buck and I am okay. I have even been talking to another guy, Mike, on the phone. Decent conversation. That is all...

We had a snow event yesterday and I got the urge to cook! I made grown up Beenie Weenie and Veggie Beef Soup! Yum! The kids were so happy. It has been that long since I have cooked. Sad. Lol! But it has been a cold winter so far. I am sick of this!

The semester is over and I have pretty good grades- 4 A's & 1 C. It evens out. I did get some promising news. I may be able to stay @ my school while I am interning! I won't be getting paid, but I wouldn't if I were @ another school either & I get to be with my besties! Yay! Well, it hasn't been confirmed, but I am praying that it will work out.

My kids have been decent. I am excited about their Christmas this year. They wanted to have surprises this year so I had fun shopping.
BTW: I am done! So I will start shopping for my self tomorrow!
I want some shooties and snow boots. I may pick up a couple of pairs of pants. I'm not sure. I probably should wait until after Christmas and do my shopping.

So bloggers, what are you up to? How's life been treating you? Talk to me....

Sassy Me





Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Why Am I Pissed?

So my birthday has come & gone. I am now (whisper) 37. I had a good time with my parents eating and talking and doing mounds of homework. In the back of my mind I was thinking about when I was going to see the Young Buck & what we were doing for my birfday. I was so excited to get his texts and facebook wall post wishing me a happy birthday. He even texted me @ 4:30 am so that he would be the first to say happy birthday to me. I was sooo happy! I mentioned that I wanted to go to a jazz club on Saturday and he was like , "cool".
So what do I have to be pissed about? He never called! No text, call Fb message. NOTHING!!!!
I know, I know. I said no feelings. No expectations. But there it is... A feeling, sitting in the corner waving at me.
I tried so hard to keep this light and just flirtatious, but it didn't work. What is wrong with me?

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Birthday Week!

So, I am on day three of my birthday celebration. It has been a great week. Too bad my Young Buck has been MIA. I think that it has to do with how upset I was about the Professor and his new woman. He has not been answering my texts all week. Hmmmm.
Anyway, I began celebrating on Sunday with my family @ a dinner buffet. Monday some of my students gave me gifts and some balloons. Today I received more cards and gifts. My team threw me a birthday breakfast as well. Then this afternoon we had chocolate chip cookies. Too. Much. Food.
Tomorrow I will be hitting the road to see the folks! I love having them all to myself before my sisters and brother come.
Saturday I will be back in town and I'll try to round up some folks to go out to a new jazz club in town. Good food, good music and good friends... Nothings better!

So have an outstanding Thanksgiving and I'll see ya l8ter!

SassyMe
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Where Do Broken Hearts Go ?

So, confession time again.. (I've been doin' lots of that lately.) LOL.
I was really feeling the Professor and I thought that he was feeling me some too (in his own dorky way). He has been distant and different in recent weeks, but I thought that it was because of my relationship with Young Buck. He acted funny when anybody mentioned him so I kinda stayed away and did my own thing. I would be cool when I saw him, but didn't really stay in his face.
Annnny wayyy, on Sunday Professor brought his new woman to church! Shut the front door! I was beside myself, but I kept it cool. She was the typical LSLH & wasn't even cute. Well, she kinda was. But the point is this.... I REALLY thought that one day the Professor & I would get our stuff together & be together. I know that it could still happen, but the odds are against it.
I asked my good guy friend who I consider my big brother what was up with P. He said that P didn't really want me, but he wants me to want him. That's why he is engaging me in conversation and flirting when I am not paying him any mind.
I think that Bone is right about that, but it still hurts. Now why does it hurt, because I feel like a fool or because I really wanted him? Both.
But the good part is that I told my Young Buck about it last night. He hugged me real tight and told me that it would be okay. He said that I was too good for P and that I was still cute as a button. He kissed me on my forehead and was so sweet. Awwww! That's why I like him so much! He knows that he is just my side piece and he can play his position like a champ! Maybe since the Professor is out of the picture he can have the #1 spot.
I am still sad because I know that I have wasted years on this man that I won't get back. Also, I can't let the Youngin really get the top spot because he is a youngin.
What is a girl to do? What if my Young Buck decides that he wants to get into a relationship with someone else closer to is age and that our fun is over? What if I only get hit and quit offers and no man wants me? I get lots of one night offers, men just want to get some and not have a relationship.... Such is life, I guess.

I guess I should not dwell on the negative, but focus on the positive.... Can anyone tell me what that is?

Yours in sassiness,

SassyME
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Is the break over yet?

I am so sprung over the young buck. We are still "claiming" to be just friends, but can't stay away from each other.
I have purposely not texted or Facebooked him because I am trying to keep the break in place, but it is difficult.
When I saw him last week he grabbed me and hugged me so hard that it took my breath away! He smelled great as usual. Mmmmm. He is not making this easy at all... I guess he forgot that we agreed to step back. Right. He is still trying to hit, but I ain't no little girl that he can fool. (Whatever, I need to pray to keep my knees together)

Oh, I've got to send a shout out to my friend Prettyface and her man. They are the only friends I've shared this blog with. It was tough to allow them to see me so vulnerable and naked, but I pride myself on being honest so I guess I can share with them. I ain't perfect, even though I try to be.

This month is my birthday and I intend to celebrate to the fullest! Y'all keep prayin for me!
SassyMe
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Test of mobile blogger. :)

Something funny happened in kindergarten...

So I go to pick up my class from Music class and the teacher is standing in the hall with the school guidance counselor. THey have their heads together and when the counselor looks at me she turns red and snickers. I'm like, huh, whassup? THe music teacher is so red in the face and undone that she cannot speak. I looik at my kids and they are standing in line with their heads down. I'm like, give me a break. Am I gonna have to break something off in y'all when we get back to the room? Anyway, the teacher whispers to me that she found a pair of girls undies on the floor under a chair. She is positive that they were not there at the beginning of class. She asked if anyone was missing any panties but no one claimed them. (SIGH) The counselor is in full hysterics now, because she knows that I am going to have to get to the bottom of this. I would have slapped her if my class wasn't standing right there!

So, I take the class back to the room and have the boys play the Quiet Game while I take the girls to the back of the room. Now, how was I gonna do this? Am I going to ask them to drop trou, and show me or what? The Holy Ghost (thank you!) gave me the idea to have them pull down their waist bands and let me see the top of their panties... All accounted for!

I was still perplexed at where the panties had come from so I asked the boys to join me in the back of the room while the girls played the Quiet Game. We repeated the process and all undies were accounted for, almost... Arthur told me that he never wore underpants!!!! OMG! A kindergartener going COMMANDO! too much! Well that gave me a much needed laugh for the end of a rough week!

We're on a Break...

Ok, so I am a Christian single mother with too much on my plate right now. Why did I think that I could keep fooling around with the Young Buck? I had to let him go. I gots the sads now.

Ok let me be truthful and stop leading y'all on. I have to take a break because I am really going through something right now. I did nto want to share this on my blog since I have put myself out there as a saved person who is not having sex, but if I cannot be honest on my own blog, then where can I be honest?

No... I have not fallen to the temptation of dredlocks trailing along my naked body, but I have thought about scratching the kitty on one man who wants it bad-- my ex husband. He is terribly jealous of Young Buck so it is not hard to get him to oblige me in this way. We even made a date to play hooky from work and have a sex fest ALL day while our children are at school. It was going to be GRRRREAT! That boy can put it on meh!!! I mean for real....

Well, The Great Screwfest 2010 isn't going to happen. No, not because i came to my senses and called it off. The ex cannot take off that day. Crisis averted, no, we made a date for about 2 weeks from now. My body wants this SOOOO bad. It has been YEARS!!!!!

So, I have confessed what I have been up to and I am ashamed. I know that feeling this way is normal, but for me to make plans to do it and really really want to is not right. I hope that I can keep myself from doing it, but I really need this....

I am so torn, I want to be open and honest on my blog about what I am going through, but I also want to draw others to Christ through my posts. I don't think that I am doing a great job of soul winning with my mind in the state it is in right now. Please don't judge me. If you are a praying oerson and you can get a prayer through, pray for me. I need all I can get....

I did put the breaks on the thing with the Young Buck because I did not want to go there with him. Our group has to go into the studio in the next few weeks and a sexual relationship would completely ruin what we have. I do think that he has got me a little sprung though.--- Cest la vie!

Question.... What constitutes sex?

So I am watching the ghettofabulous Real Ho Wives of the ATL and Kandi is talking about getting back into the game after her fiance died. I think that it may be too soon, but that is just my opinion. He died in October of 2009 but they were already separated, so maybe she had moved on mentally well before then. Anyway, on the season premiere Kandi is dating a real nice looking NFL player and she tells him about the bet she has with a friend on remaining celibate until December 31, 2010. He seemed not to be able to handle that until he asked if oral sex was part of the deal. She said that she could still participate in oral sex and still be in compliance with the bet.

Ok, I thought that we had settled this back in 1998 with Monica and Bill. Oral sex is sex to me! If he can lick it right I can get off just as well as if he sticks it in. So anything with sex in it -- oral, vaginal, phone-- is sex to me. If my man gets a BJ from or gives head to another woman I would be just as pissed as if he had vaginal intercourse with her. That would be a deal breaker!

So what do you think? I am very interested to know...

Here is my old school jam for this post!! We don't have to take clothes off by Jermaine Stewart. Ironically, he died of AIDS in 1997.

OMG, really trying to keep the panties on!!!!

I am not ready to play with the big boys! T is really coming on strong and I am fading fast. I was with him the other night and he was all over me. At first he was flirtatious and then he became touchy. Our group was finalizing the set for our next gig , so it was a long, intense rehearsal. I was trying to get some studying in while the musicians were getting a part right, when he came over to where I was and began to massage my neck. FLOOD! (I know, I know-- but you have to remember that I am NOT having sex and I won't until I get married.)
Anyway, I maneuver away from him and we sit and talk. I had been planning for all of us to take a trip out of town and stay in a really posh hotel for the weekend after Thanksgiving. Since that Thursday is my Birfday (YAY!!) I thought that it would be a great treat for me too. He thought that it was a great idea and the rest of the band got in on our conversation and agreed. But we are not going since Nic's baby has a birthday himself that weekend. But mah boo is insisting that the two of us go! NOOOOOO!!! I will not be able to resist him at all if we are alone for two days in a hotel room. I can just see him dragging his dreds over my naked body.............. smh

Oh and he smelled sooooo good. He had just got his hair done and that Kente oil was killin me! lol He smelled like mmmm. Okay, let me stop. I have to stay holy. I am also trying to keep real feelings out of it.

BTW, I had dinner last night with P and his sister, after church. He is still fine. Grown man fine. And that is all I have to say about that (Forrest Gump voice)

So chirren, be prayin' for me as I try to keep my panties on in this time of temptation with this fiooone, dred-locked 28 year old. AMEN

I almost forgot my song for this post..... A little old school by my girls Salt and Peppa SHOOP!

Me and Mr.

I have been missin' for more than a minute, but I am back, for now. The past 2 months have been whirlwind. So "Let's Start at the Beginning - A Very Good Place to Start."

I met the cutest guy! He is cute, a teacher, a musician, a song writer, has sexxy dreds and is into me. SO what's the problem? I'll get to that later.

I met him through my nephew D. He came to our church one Sunday. I thought that he was young like D, and I was going to hook him up with one of the other young girls. I noticed him watching me all during service and I couldn't help but watch him too. I did not get to speak to him much that day, but he turned up again the next Sunday. I noticed him looking again, so I decided to speak to him. We talked for a few minutes after church and I found out that he was 27. Hmmm. He looked 18 or 20, so I was like yum! We Facebooked and got to know each other a little better. Had fun at IHOP at 3 am. Danced and talked at the club. Then I got the shock of all shocks... this nigga be married! WTF?! and he used to date Little Miss Crazy. Double WTF!??! If you don't know who she is read THIS and THIS.

Oh, BTW, he is in the band that I sing in. I see him every Tuesday and Sunday for hours on end. All of the music concerts that I have been to or places I've gone to hear some music T has shown up. Almost like he is following me. He invites me to go dancing. He has written songs for me. He loves my voice he says. I make his heart smile he says. GAG! To be completely honest, he and his wife are separated and have been for over a year. I know what you are saying, "he will say anything to hit!" I thought so too, but this situation has been confirmed by several people, including one of S's (his wife)friends. I even met her. I really like her. She doesn't seem threatened by me or anyone else. Weird!

Needless to say, I have not been alone with T too much, but the heat is there. (smile) I know that I should not get into anything with him, but it is hard not to. Slap me please!!!! He makes me feel so young. When we first met he thought that I was younger than him! I will be 37 in November. If I had not just been mistaken for a High School Senior a few weeks ago, I would have thought that he was lying, but my new hair cut really makes me look young. It doesn't hurt that all of these young girls look broke and busted nowadays either.

Other than carrying on this elicit affair.... wait, we have not slept together, so I'll say elicit friendship, I have been studying, working and reading. Our band has had setbacks. Out drummer and bass player left the group at the beginning of September.... 2 weeks before our first show. We still killt it with tracks though!

My kids are still alive and are doing well in school. J is playing lacrosse and trying out for wrestling. DS is eating everything and making music all hours of the night.

This thing with T has taken a lot of my mental energy, so I have not had much time for my other friends. But I do realize that I was not completely wrong about P. He is jealous of all the time that I have been spending with T. T has noticed how P acts when he is around. It has been very interesting to say the least. Even my ex-husband is jealous. He was leaving my house with the kids one day when T pulled up. My youngest texted me and said "Daddy wants to know who the F was that?" I texted the ex back and said, "Good Dick!" LOL!!! That was actually the best part of the whole summer!

I will admit that I have become a little fixated on T. He makes me feel good. He thinks that I am funny, smart, sexy. He is always full of compliments, jokes and hugs. I haven't felt that way in a loooong time. Maybe that is why he is in my life right now, just to boost my self esteem. God knows that it took a hit with that Lil Miss Crazy and P incident. (shudder) As long as I keep my panties on and my money in my pocket I'll be okay.

So what do you think?

Step in the Name of Love

Went stepping with my young buck tonight. It was fun, but I cannot dance! I need to hang with my white friends so I can seem like I can dance.
He is so smooth on the floor that it has me thinking of other things that he is smooth with Yummm!

My friend Melanie came too. She had a good time without the kids and the husband. We are planning to go again next week. I can't wait!!!!

So the song for this week is....

R. Kelly's Happy People




Sassy

Living My Life Like It's Golden

I have had a great 2 weeks. I finished all of my summer school classes: A, B and B, respectively. have signed up for two dating sites, met a new guy (complicated ain't even the word) and have been singing with the best band around. We's gone be HOT!! I cannot wait!!!

In other words, I have been living my life for me, letting go of all of my childish thoughts and obsessions. Reading my older posts have been enlightening. I remember some of the frustration and emotion behind the posts, but I was whining too. I HATE whiners... I know that I will probably whine some more---it's MY blog ya know. But I will try to make more of an effort to have my big girl panties on.

I was also obsessed with a man that is weird. He is my friend and someone that I can talk to for hours but I don't think that we will ever have a romantic relationship. Matter of fact, we talked last Wednesday for 3 hours about sex, church, friends, family. I found out some more things about the Professor that confirm that he is not the man for me. ***Let me tell you a secret*** The deal breaker is that he thinks that oral sex is nasty!!! Getting and giving!!! When he couldn't even say "oral sex" I was like "Unt Uh. I could not do this." I told him too and he said that he knew that I was a freak! So is oral sex freaky? I thought it was normal. So that is closed. We are still friends, I still find him extremely attractive, but I think that I can just have him as a friend. Now the girl keeps cutting her eye at me like she wants to get knocked out!!!

Anyway, the new guy plays in our band. He is 10 years younger, but he thought that I was his age too!!! The complications come in with his off and on marriage...yes marriage... he is younger, he has been friends with my nephew for a minute and we are doing business together. I cannot Ish where I eat! We have a flirtatious understanding that makes me feel really good. The attention is wonderful. There is no touching-- just smiles, looks and comments. We have not exchanged numbers nor have we added each other on Facebook. I want to keep that stuff to a minimum. I know how it feels to be cheated on and I don't really want to have that over my head. So, Tre is a confidence booster. A fine, dreaded one at that.

I am also just so excited about this band. My nephew is lead singer. He is awesome. I sing back up with his sister Ash, a great singer in her own right and another vocal beast, Nicole. The band is hot too. Bev plays bass. He can stroke that thang, just riiight. Martez plays drums like Animal on The Muppet Show. He is really good. Tre' plays keys and he can write a song like no other.
Now, some might say, Y'all probably ain't all that! You just think that you are 'cause you the one singing. NOT!!!! I am my toughest critic. We all are perfectionists that rag on ourselves about getting it right. I saw the DVD of our practice last night and I was blown away. The blend, the music , the harmonies--the whole thing was magic. Can't wait to have the single recorded.

So life is good with me right now! I have been having a great time ,singing great music, with great people. This weeks theme song is....

You guessed it: Jill Scott's Golden

Checking In...

I am still here and still standing. On to the next one. Having fun. Sorta like a Cougar!!! I'll check in l8ter!

Vivian Greene sure knew what she was talking about...

Okay, so the Professor and the little chickie are not together. I don't know what happened, but it's a no go between the two of them. She posted on FB that she was with her someone special, but she was out of town in another state. Besides I was with the Professor about 2 hours before she posted that message. You would think that I would be jumping up and down because of this especially since P was all in my face on Saturday. But no, I am not. Why? Because I am not sure of what kinda game is being played right now. Every time we are talking to each other people pass by and smile this crazy smile. Saturday we were at a cookout with a few friends. We teased each other like usual but I really felt nothing. I have resigned myself to the fact that he doesn't want me. It wasn't until we were packing up to leave the park that he and I had a chance to be alone. He was always asking me to help him with something. Hand me this, open that... We just had some small talk about church but then he reached out and touched my hand. I just looked up at him, smiled and continued to pick up my stuff. He smiled the most beautiful smile at me and turned and walked away. I felt butterflies all over again. What. is. wrong. with. me??? Am I totally crazy!??!?!

Today we really didn't talk much because he had a meeting with the deacons of the church. I waited for him so I could talk to him about some Sunday School business. He was cordial, but short with me. WTH? Maybe he had somewhere to go. He did say that he wanted to talk later, maybe @ church on Wednesday, but I am going out with the homies for dinner and music.

Am I reaching? Could this be a figment of my fertile imagination? It occurred to me that what I think is interest is really him being a gentleman. You know, a nice person. I guess I am not used to being treated nice by guys that don't want something. That is a sad tale for my life....

Anyway, maybe I am crazy .... but here goes. The theme song of my divorce and apparent current delusion:

And the beat goes on...

Here I am a couple of days out from "the betrayal". I have decided to move on, get a new attitude. The old low self esteem dialogue was going overtime today. It has been many years since I have had these thoughts. Nothing suicidal, but disturbing none the less. I will not be a lonely spinster with a houseful of cats, nor will I be bedridden and obese with others to take care of my basic needs because I have become addicted to the comfort of food! **shivers** My biggest nightmares!

My first step to keep myself from falling in the pit of depression was to sign up for Plenty of Fish .com. and Christian Mingle.com. I have had a few hits already, but I can't see myself with any of them because they don't remind me of the Professor. I know, sue me. There was one fwiooone one on the Christian Mingle that I "smiled" at. I really want to find a man that will not try to have sex with me before marriage or will want to drink or do drugs. The drinking and drug use are DEAL BREAKERS. I can try to deal with fighting for my virtue! LOL The guy that I smiled at could get it anytime....

The funny thing is that I have had many profile views from white guys! Who knew? This is probably gonna be the subject of another post, but with all of the message boards out there that say black women are hos, baby mommas or bitter unmarrieds that nobody wants, I was supposed to see that my profile had been viewed by almost as many white guys as black guys!!!!!

So, I guess that I will survive. I will find that special one for me very soon. I just have to be patient.

I give up...

I am so angry right now! I cannot believe how I have a been played or played myself. So I have been obsessing about the Professor for many months now. I really thought that he liked me. I mean, I really did. How could I have gotten his signals wrong? I feel stupid! So, the fact that he really isn't into me is not as bad as knowing who he is possibly really into. Do you remember this post? Well, the same old chick that tried to turn my nephew out is messing with my man. I mean, really? Really? In November/December you were going to get married, in April you were pledging your love to my teenage nephew, now in July you are sliding up next to my man! She is scandalous! And this is in the church!!!!!! That is what I cannot wrap my head around! In the house of God she is acting like this. Doesn't she know that people are looking at her? I don't like her anyway, so this is one more thing to add to the list.

I am a little slow, I guess because now that the Professor's sister has given me the scoop I see that it was obvious. She has been on his jock since Memorial Day. Even today at choir rehearsal she almost knocked me down to stand next to him. I found out that they even went out to lunch right around Father's Day. I am floored. I can get that he is not into me, that's okay. But the fact that he has taken up with this trick is beyond belief. And she KNOWS how I feel about him. She often teases me about him, but now that I think about it she has stopped doing that in the last 4 or 5 weeks.

After all of the raging I did after I found out, I just felt so bad about myself. I mean, what is wrong with me? How can he give this illiterate, selfish, stuck up, classless girl a second look. All she has is light skin , long hair and a nice body. I know that men are attracted to the external, but everybody knows that she has nothing going on upstairs. P wants a woman who can be sociable with his business, a woman who can hold a conversation on her own about various subjects, a woman who can challenge and stimulate his thinking. We have discussed this on a couple of occasions. This girl cannot do that. Maybe I am not the one for him, but I know that this broad is definitely not for him.

I feel betrayed. I don't know what else to do.... I just give up.

When will it be my turn?

Short Post:

When will I get someone who wants to do this to me?




I'm just saying...

make ME wet on the back of my knees....kiss my lips... do what it do...

smh. good nite

Photoshop: the devil's work or a blessing from God!

Last night as I was in the throes of another insomnia bout, I came across this website that advertises the work of a photoshop artist. I guess I can say artist? Anyway, on the front page of his site there is a picture of Mary J Blige that he supposedly worked on, so I guess he is reputable.

Well, I start clicking on the pictures in the gallery. They are amazing. Some of are regular people for weddings or album covers and they look amazing in the after shot. But once you roll over the picture with your mouse you will see that they are old and busted like everyone else! Even the models look ordinary! This is a- ma-zing!! I NEED photoshop in my everyday life. I wouldn't have to wash my face and comb my hair... just spray on PHOTOSHOP! This stuff can even comb your fly aways... good-googly-moogly!! I could walk around with my belly hanging out singin' "Dontcha' wish ur GF was HAWT like Meh!!!" I would have long flowing hair with out having to sit for hours as Diane sewed in the Remy. My stretch marks would be history. That little bit of cellulite would be smooth as silk.SESSY!!! I'd be so bad that I'd have to repent...

So, is Photoshop good or bad?

I thought about my girl EYES, and her foray into Match.com. There was one guy she posted a picture of and he had taco meat all on his chest... No, No, No, No, No!!! Epic, colossal, fail! If he had Photoshop he could have smoothed that Mr. Brown belly and taco meat right off. He could have looked like Shamar Moore. Yummy!

But, would that have been fair to her and the other ladies? She probably would have to wait for her chance to talk to him because he would have been so popular and if he didn't have PHOTOSHOP in the can, she would have been disappointed. Suicidal even. (the sads)

But you CAN buy Photoshop!!! I remember this being bundled with our first computer, back in '99 or something. I never gave it much thought and didn't use it, But NOW there is some really good stuff out there. I can get Student and Teacher Ed. of Photoshop for about $90! Man, I could do some work to some of my Facebook photos. You know the ones that other folk put up and tag you in. I could fix that sweat on my forehead at Tony's Fourth of July party, the frizzy mess that is my hair at Ashley's graduation party, the pizza that is my face in my 10th grade chorus concert. I can rewrite history!!! I can be sessy instead of just cute.

So I am torn, is Photoshop good or bad? I know all about the body image problem it causes for young girls... it does for me too, but it sure is nice!

I guess I will go back to crunches and walks to get my Pussycat Doll body, but if they ever, I mean E-veah make a Photoshop in the can, I will be the first one in line for that stuff....Dontcha', Dontcha'!!

thanks for the video: Sealy1986

Daddy's Right

I am a daddy's girl. I love him with all of my heart. I wish that I had had him my entire life, maybe I would not be the wreck that I am. My momma married him when I was 16 and I am so glad. He is the greatest. My biggest cheerleader, defender and voice of sanity.

On the Professor front things have been quiet. We speak after church but that is the bulk of our contact. Because it was the end of the school year and I had sooo much to do I was okay with that. But somehow I got on the subject of the Professor with my dad and he laid some science on me. **LOL, just thinking of my daddy "laying science" on anybody is funny!**

We were talking about the fact that my kids are going to be with their dad on the Fourth and I wanted to find something good to do. I mentioned that I needed to get out more because my friends don't find walking around downtown that interesting and that I needed a new bunch of friends. I told him that the only person I could really hang out with is the Professor's sister Dee. She is kinda wild, but not too wild. When we go out, we are up for almost anything.. scary biker clubs, scary Jamaican clubs, Blues concerts... anything. I likened our friendship to mine with her brother. They have the same sense of humor and I love to laugh.

My dad said then why do I insist on pursuing a romantic relationship with the Professor? Why can't we just be friends? With all that I had told my dad about P's obvious affection for me, he said that P may not be ready for many reasons to have a relationship, but that did not mean that he did not like me or care deeply for me. My smart, cute, funny daddy told me to chill on the relationship and just be the man's friend. He said that the Professor may NOT be the ONE, but a prelude to the ONE.

So, I am gonna listen to my daddy. I know that this man is into me, but maybe he is not mature enough for a relationship or he is just taking some time to work on him. I don't know, but I do think that my daddy is right. Imma just chill!!!

School's Out (almost) for the Summer!!!

I am so glad that this school year is almost over. I am so sick of these kids that I don't know what to do!!! Last year we had a rough crew. These were some "inner city " kids that were bussed in because they didn't want the year round option. I say "inner city" because in the big NC we have some rough stuff, but we ain't got nothin' on DC and NYC. The year before that we had project kids. I have been told stories of how daddy stole mommy's van while he was drunk and turned it over on the highway, that the police came into my house last night and everybody had to lay on the floor until it was over and that we ate dry cereal by candle light for dinner last night. Now those kids have an excuse for getting out of pocket and acting crazy at school.

But this year, the little white suburban kids we have are driving me crazy!!! They are the biggest bunch of entitled M-F's I have EVER seen. If I am talking to another teacher or student they think that they have to right to talk. And these are kindergartners-- they talk about NOTHING!!! Even if we tell them to shut it, they go right back to talking when we start our conversation again. Talking is just the half of it. They run and push to get into line to go anywhere... Lunch, bathroom, outside... I bet they would push each other down the stairwell to HELL!!! One girl in my after care program ran to be the first in line for water. She fell over her Crocs and BROKE HER ARM!!!!! Just so she could be first.

Today there was pushing, teasing, tattling, back talking... all before lunch. Alexandra was crying because Gabriella told her that the cat would pull down her pants. WTH??? I liked to have slapped them both. (For my Northern friends, "liked to" means almost... not sure if you knew that) Then Elijah says, Ash-ur (that's how he says Asher) says I have on a tutu. (eyes rolling so hard that they are stuck in the back of my head for 15 seconds) I just point to the other side of the room. Go. A. Way. Then I start praying aloud:

"Lord Jesus. I can't do this anymore. It is only 11.00. School just started at 9.00. Why me God? Didn't I give enough in the offering? Didn't I visit the sick and shut in? I didn't spare the rod in my own home. What did I do to deserve this? "

I open my eyes to see 20 pairs of eyes staring, mouths agape, bodies still. My co- teacher is at her desk dying from laughter. I stifle a smile and say, "What'chu looking at? I am praying 'cause I must have done something to make you act this way."

Elijah stands up and says. "Nope. We're just bad!" and he goes back to making his word family chart.

What do you say to that?

I wish I could line them up and beat them. I would take a flyswatter and tear up some tails!!! Just two more days!!! I told them today that they didn't have to come back. They had passed kindergarten and I'd mail them their report card. Bad aren't I? (smile)

I hope that the next two days are better. Like I told them today... we can have a good 3 days or a not so good 3 days. It is their choice. From the looks of today it is gonna be a rocky rest of the week!!!

Lord, help!!!!

Mary Anne and the Professor too

I love sitcoms. Nothing is like the escape that you get from laughing at people in stupid situations. One show that I love is THE PARKERS. Nikki Parker is in love with Professor Oglevee. Unfortunately her amore is unrequited. Many of the episodes have to do with her pursuit of the Professor. Then there is Gilligan's Island... strangers stranded on a deserted island trying to get back to civilization. We all know Gilligan, the Skipper, the Professor, Mr and Mrs Howell and Ginger and Mary Anne. Ginger was the obvious hottie while Mary Anne was more understated, but still had it goin' on.

Well if we merge these two shows we have my life right now. As I have said before, it has been ages since I have dated but I still know when a guy is interested. The guy from my church P now has a new name. My friend T calls him the Professor because of the stalker-esque way I go after him and the way he rebuffs me. Anyway, I think that the tide may be turning. A few weeks ago The Professor and I had some one on one time at a church fun fair. We talked and joked alot.We were supposed to be working but everyone left us alone so, we didn't. I really had a good time with him and I think that he had a good time with me as well. Well, after he left he had forgotten a couple of things , like the check to the bounce house vendor that I had contracted and his Mercedes Benz keys. I was a bit peeved because I had to write a personal check to the vendor and as I was telling T about it I said the the wedding was off! That is an inside joke that I said in front of too many outsiders!! As I stomped up the stairs I heard people saying "wedding, what wedding?" I had to come back down and tell everyone that it was a joke! I got some real interesting looks I must say. Well, an elder in my church told me that it just might not be too far from the truth. The professor and I may one day get together. oooookaaayyyy!



I am sure that he has had some people say some thing to him as well because he has been making some "who's your man?" jokes. Of course I've said that he was my man and we have laughed it off. But, today, our conversation was a little different. I can't put my finger on it, but I think that he may really be into me.

Mary Anne is my personality. I love to talk to people and I am always considered the cute (albeit chubby) girl. Most men think of me as their buddy. I am that girl who can talk about football and basketball with the best of them. I have even taken up golf (when it is not too hot out). The church is scheduled to go on this trip to Carowinds at the end of this month. The Professor and I have a date to ride on The Grizzly roller coaster together. I can't wait. I hope that I can get off some of this fat!@!!! before our trip. I can't be walking around with him huffin and puffin!!!

So I think that this may be the beginning of Mary Anne and the Professor... I will keep you updated...

Workin' with a Ni**a

Short post before work this fine Friday morning...

I am 36 years old, I have two teenagers from my 10 year marriage. I have been single for 6 years. I want to date and get back out there. I have really been focusing on the Lord, my boys and going back to school. I know I have been gone from the game a few minutes, but at my age am I STILL expected to work with a ni**a?
I mean, at this point, shouldn't he have his stuff together? I have given up on finding a 36+ man without kids, but shouldn't you have a full time job, with benefits and a retirement plan? I did not say a 401K b/c I don't have one, I have a retirement plan with my employer though. I'd like a man who is working on purchasing a home, if he doesn't already have one.

Go to church, read some books, be over trying to be Diddy. This is North Carolina for Pete's sake!! There will be no White Parties here. I don't want to roll on 22's and not have a nice place to live. Have your stuff together before you step to me!! I have already tried to raise another woman's son. NOT gonna do it again! If you are 36-40 years old you should know how to take care of your self. As your woman, I might wash your clothes, cook for you and run errands for you. But don't expect it! If you are lucky enough to marry me, then you'll get the full service treatment!

As you can tell, I have become frustrated with the dating scene. Am I wrong to want a man that is ready for me? I have waited long enough, getting my self right, to work with a Ni**A! Am I wrong?

Y'all help me out!!!

A Thin Line...

You remember that old song from back in the day...A thin line between love and hate...

I could never get the words to the song. As a kid, love and hate are polar opposites. Complete ends of the spectrum. But, as I got older, those two ends got a lot closer. By the time I was 28 I was living this song. He would come in late at night, smelling like God only knows who/what. I couldn't take it anymore. Murder was on my mind... I finally know how love and hate could share the same breath...a thin line.~~ I left, not on my own accord, but it was for my good that I did.

Fast forward six years later and the same words are running through my mind. No, not another man, but my 16 year old son. Love/Hate? Love/Hate? He is really taking me through this. Skipping school, failing classes, not coming home at curfew. I wonder if he is doing drugs, but he has no money and nothing in the house is missing. He must be into a girl. I know he has a friend from his old high school that has just moved into our neighborhood. The arrival of this kid coincides with the plummet in grades and attitude.

I have given my kids EVERYTHING! My whole life has been dedicated to them. I take care of them by myself and given up any outside life. Church, work and school are the only things that I put any time into besides the boys. I want to let go and let him fail, but I feel that I cannot do it.

I have prayed and prayed. I guess that fasting is next. I am glad that the Spring session is almost over and that my summer classes won't start until May 18th. I can devote more time to praying over this. I will look into getting some counseling for him and us.

I am not sure what to do about this at all. I'm not used to being lost. I am usually in control of what is going on, but now I don't know what to do other than pray.

Please God, help me. I love my son and have dedicated my life to making his the best it can be. Give me the strength to continue on. Work this out for his good Lord. I give You all of the praise, honor and glory, forever AMEN!

Sassyme

Drama. This time somebody else's

I have decided to to let this thing go with D, my nephew. I love him and I know that God will take care of him.

So I have decided to turn all my experience in the investigative field (CSI, CSI:Miami and Murder She Wrote watching) to work. In most urban areas there are lots of murders and they usually stem from some sort of illegal activity of the minorities. (I know, shades of racism, but is it racism if I am black?)In Wake County, NC we have our fair share of those drug shoot out, killing baby mommas, killing over cheating or exes situations. But lately I have noticed that we have had a lot of murders of upper middle class white women. (I hate to see anybody killed, but as a black upper/lower class chick I am glad that somebody has closed open season on us in Wake County. Know what I mean?) One of these murders got a lot of national attention. The Kathleen Peterson murder case was featured on Dateline NBC and there was even a miniseries/movie based on the case. It actually happened in Durham Co. though. More about Micheal and Kathleen Peterson here. There are several murders that are currently preparing for trial. In most of them the husband is the prime suspect. The Nancy Cooper murder hits kinda close to home. One of the families in my classroom was close to this family. More about the Cooper story here and here. But, the case that has me trying to get my Angela Lansbury on is the recent murder of a state school board member. She was murdered a few blocks from the dude that I am crushing on. This is a nice upper class old stable money neighborhood near NC State. I believe that many of the professors from the university live there. Kathy Taft was a 62 year old single woman who recovering from facial plastic surgery is found badly injured by her sister on the morning of March 6th 2010. The 911 calls and search warrants were recently released to the public. In my reading of the transcripts and other documents I have come across some weird stuff. Taft Case Documents: here and here.

Weird Stuff I Have Found in this Case
1. The murder occurred in the home of Kathy Taft's ex boyfriend. The boyfriend was out of state--in Florida at the time of the attack.
2. The sister that found the injured Taft had stayed the night at the home and according to some accounts was at home during the attack.
3. When the sister came to check on Taft after making an early run to the Harris Teeter grocery store, she found her unresponsive and covered in blood. She called 911 and the victim was transported to the hospital.
4. At the hospital a rape kit was performed and there was evidence of a sexual assault along with the massive head injuries. Taft was in a coma and died three days later.
5. Back to the sister-- She claims that she went to Harris Teeter for some stuff and locked her keys in her car a 2002 Durango. She then walked the short distance home (to ex bf's home) and got keys to Taft's Lexus and drove back to the store. Why? I don't know.
6. Then she finally checks on her sister at 11 am and calls 911. I would have checked on my sister before I left for the store. I am not sure what time she left, but the sister stated that she heard Taft snoring at 3 am. Why not check on her before going to the store?
7. A grocery store employee said that he saw a similar Durango in the parking lot with the engine running at 6 am that morning. That is odd because the store doesn't open until 7 am. Why would Taft's sister be waiting at the store a full hour before it opened? The store is so close to the home that it is visible from the house. Shoe could have gone home to wait for it to open.
8. Some of the items listed in the search warrants of the Durango, Lexus and the home are: baggie corners (smoke weed much?), hand written notes, check and checkbook, golf clubs, hotel receipt, cereal (wtf), DNA samples and latent hand prints.

What I Think This Means:
So this is the evidence on which I am going to make some assumptions. Now, remember the ASSUME acronym... but I am going ahead with what I think happened. On one of the local news websites, people are speculating a sister suspect theory that had to do with jealousy. I am going to use that theory in my assumptions as well. It just sounds right... I think that the sisters argued over something, perhaps a man... maybe John Geil, the owner of the house where the assault took place. Maybe the sister thought that Taft was vain for having the surgery. Taft was a good looking 62 year old woman. I thought that she was in her 50's by looking at photos. Also according to the search warrants, the sister lived in an apartment in a tiny little hamlet on the NC coast. I couldn't see it on Google Maps so I am not sure how it looks, but because the address is an Apartment A address is doesn't sound that great. Taft lived in Greenville, NC and I am sure that her place was nice.

At the hospital the doctors realized that Taft had a laceration on the top to the back of her head and had been sexually assaulted. In the search warrants golf clubs were seized. I think that maybe the sister hit Taft in the head and knew that she killed her or was close to killing her so she used the handle of a club to sexually assault her. I mean, you don't have to be raped with a penis to have been sexually assaulted, right? She wanted it to look like a break in or something, but there does not seem to be evidence of one at this time.


Unlike in my show Murder She Wrote, the cops have been very tight lipped in this case. I haven't heard any conversations by the suspects or even read the statement of the sister. That is the next document that I am looking for. I also want to find some sort of time line that will give me more information. The posts from readers on WRAL.com establish that the sister locked her keys in the car, walked to the house and left again in Taft's Lexus. I cannot find that information anywhere. I don't know if that is just speculation or if I have missed something.
Well, I am gonna be like my other hometown home-girl Calleigh Duquesne from CSI:Miami (played by Raleigh native Emily Proctor) and follow the evidence. If only I had that hot Eric Delko by my side!!!


Stay tuned. I do plan to make this a regular series on this blog, as long as I can continue to get other information. In researching this post as I wrote it I did come across more intriguing information about the Nancy Cooper case pertaining to the parties involved that I know well. I will keep my eye on that one too.

Lord, Help!

I am trying to do my homework tonight but I can't. I have something weighing heavy on my mind. Most would say that it is really none of my business, but I just cannot let it go. It is so unsettling and disturbing. I have wanted to have something real interesting to say on this blog, and I guess that this qualifies, but it is disturbing none the less.

My nephew D is the best young man. He is smart, ambitious, musically gifted, truly living for Christ and only 19 years old. I love him to death!! I want my boys to grow into as lovely as a young man as their cousin is. Where's the problem you ask? Well, he is secretly dating a 26 year old woman that attends our church. I know her well and I am NOT a fan. Because I know my nephew is strong in his convictions, I am certain that they are not having sex, but I know that if he is in a serious relationship that eventually he will be looking to get married. His parents married young and have had a successful marriage, so he will try to emulate their relationship. I am all for that, but not so soon. Since this young lady is a serial dater who is chomping at the bit to be married, talk will soon lead to this. My D is in his Sophomore year of college and desiring to be a psychologist. In order to make a better salary he wants to get his Master's soon after his undergrad. He also wants to make his mark on the music industry. He is very loving, funny and more mature than any other teenager that I have met. As you can see, he is a really great package for another young co-ed, not this old chick!!!

This girl is not that bright to me and she is kinda stuck up. She sometimes acts as if she is so holy and spiritual that she is heads and tails above most. She does the stereotypical long brown hair, light bright skin and big booty. I don't think that her face is all that, but her shape is banging. I want to be tight like her. Like I said before, she is a serial dater, and while there is nothing wrong with dating lots of guys and keeping your options open, she usually gets serious with a guy fast. She tells him from the jump that she is looking for a husband. I guess that at 26 your mind could be there, but she had this mentality at 21. I bet that there have been 10 guys that she brought to church that were going to be her future hubby. Since one of our former church members got hitched and had a precious baby boy T has been salivating. She even got "engaged" to a fiiione dude last year. He was a good guy, worked two jobs, believed in having a small of a debt as possible and he was her age. I thought that they were the cutest couple. Yes, he was a little boring but with him you know that the paycheck will come home and that he will be where he says he will be. I mean, what is there to ask for. Anyway they were "engaged" because she was pushing for marriage, he kinda just went along for the ride. When he stalled on buying the ring she confronted him and he admitted that he was not ready to get married, but he still loved her. She broke it off, called him a liar, told anyone who would listen that he led her on. It was a big mess. He still tried to pursue her, but she wasn't having it. At about this time my nephew D broke up with his high school gf and this is when the two of them began to bond over their broken hearts.

Jump to eight months later, and they are seeing each other on the DL. Their parents are aware of their feelings and are trying to get them to stop and think about what they are doing, but my nephew says that he is letting God do this and that this is God's will. I ain't so sure!!!!

What I cannot understand is what she a 26 year old woman would want with this 19 year old boy. I know that I still see him as my Little Bean, but my God, what is wrong with this girl. I just found out about this by looking at pictures on Facebook. When I talked to him last night he said that they are surprised that it took this long for me to figure it out.

I know that I do not have any say in his life, but I am still messed up about it. I guess that I worry about this happening to my kids one day. One day soon I will not be able to have a say in their lives and relationships.

So, what do you readers have to say about this? Am I overreacting?

SassyMe ;)

my so called sassy life

I have not been posting a lot, so I have not shared too much of my life and what has brought me to this point. I may not be able to share too much because it is kinda painful. So here goes.

Well, I am the eldest child of an overachiever that got knocked up by an underachiever. Not olny dies that make me a child of divorce, but a conflicted one at that. Well that overachiever did not get to take advantage of the full State School scholarship, so she went to work at night after the divorce to support me and the little sister that came along. Since my mother was so young and in the big (not very) city the old folks back home insisted that we (me and the runt) come live with them so that we wouldn't be raped. (You know, in the big city) So we did. For 6 years I lived with the Grandma and the Old Grandma. I excelled in school, grew breasts, got my period and had my first boyfriend. Life was good. That was until I started sassing (hence the moniker) the Grandma. The Old Grandma had passed on a couple years before. She was the only one who could out sass me without using the back of her hand. So that meant that we needed to move back to the big city and I started middle school and living with the Mom. Major fireworks ensued. I too am an overachiever: Honor roll, National Honor Society, All County Chorus, Soprano Section Leader, Superior Standing in State Solo Competition, Outfielder Softball... the list goes on... but like I said, that underachiever/slacker mentality is in me too and that did not bode well with the Mom. Screaming, yelling, slamming doors, throwing stuff ... Not good. All of this info is a set up for things to come...

All in all we had a great life that got better when my mom remarried. She married a man that is not my dad but he IS my Dad! He is my champion against the Mom and the Runt. No matter what, he believes in me. I am truly a Daddy' Girl. (smile) A stepsister and brother also came with the deal.

So the underachiever part reared it's head again in my Senior year. I was madly in love with the devil and I persued him relentlessly, shamelessly until I got what I wanted. He was a year younger do I had a hard time leaving him to go away to college. I absolutely had to because the overachieving mom did not get to go to college, so she was living vicariously through me.

Whew, I think that this enough for now... This next part is where it gets kinda hairy.

Good Friday

Hello all. I have been an awful Christian. I have been shopping all day with the Chreasters. You know, the folks who only go to church on Christmas and Easter. I had the best time though. I had lunch @ the Cheesecake Factory and shopped at JCPenney. I bought a killer outfit. I cannot wait to post a picture. Such fun! I know, it doesn't take much, does it?

But the reason for Sunday has nothing to do with chocolate and eggs. It has to do with what began today, 2000+ years ago. Our Savior was hung on the cross and died. But the story did not end there. He went down to sheol (Hades, place where souls went to await the Rapture) and fought the devil and He rose with all power in His hand. He has given us power over death. If we accept Christ as our Savior we don't have to fear death and where we will spend our eternity. I love You Jesus! Who would do that? If I had the power to come down off of that cross and strike my persecutors dead, I know I would! There is no doubt in my mind. I would go off like Carrie at the prom!! But Jesus didn't. He endured physical and mental anguish for hours and then went down to sheol to defeat the powers of evil and take His faithful to Heaven.

So on this Good Friday night take the time to thank Jesus for His sacrifice and begin to work on getting closer to Him. I know that I will!

Love and Peace and May God's Grace be with you...

I lied...

Ok, I did it. I went to the doctor on Monday, expecting to hear that I have strep, but I don't. Yay!!! But I do have fluid in every single orifice. Yuck!!! It comes from allergy irritation. My doctor says that we have not been aggressive enough in our allergy treatment so she put me on 2 nasal sprays, Zyrtec, Sudafed (the kind you make meth with) and a NetiPot. That is alot of crap!!! I hate to spray anything up my nose, so you know this was not going to go well.

Well I went to the pharmacy and I was unable to get one of the nasal sprays because my insurance requires prior approval. I was like WHAT!??!?!?! They wont even let me pay the highest copay (50 bucks) to get it. I am not sure what I need to do to get it, but I am pissed. I mean, what if this was a life or death type of situation? I can do without this medicine but not high blood pressure or heart meds. I cannot imagine having to go home to my sick child or loved one and say that the meds that the doctor told us would give you relief are not available to us. What is the reason? Money I guess. I hope that this health care bill can do something about this.

So back to the gross stuff... I did not buy a NetiPot which is a teapot looking thing that you put warm water and salt into and pour water into your nose through the spout. It is supposed to clean out your sinuses, but I haven't seen anything in the two times that I used it. I have however, almost drowned because I wanted to breathe through my nose. And choked because water came through my sinuses into my mouth!!! YUCK and DOUBLE YUCK!!!!

I have started to feel somewhat better, but these meds are going to cost a blooming fortune. I spent $25 for copay, $15 for one nasal spray, $16 for Zyrtec, $5 small Sudafed, $12 for the Netipot and $10 for the antibiotic just in case my sinuses don't dry up (which they haven't) anf Diflucan for the inevitable yeast infection . That comes to a whopping $83. I cannot do this every month. I can't really afford to do this THIS month!!! Times like these I say Jesus take the wheel!!!


Sassy

No, I don't wanna! You can't make me!

I have been told that I am a stubborn person. Once I get an idea into my head I will not let it go. I only see things my way... yeah, so??!?!?!??! I guess that this post is a perfect illustration of that.

Yesterday was wonderful!!! The sun was shinning brightly, the air was warm and I had my car with sunroof and NO kids!!! I enjoyed myself immensely. I should have known that something would happen... yes, at the end of that glorious afternoon I began to feel a familiar scratchiness in my throat! I just knew that it was just pollen, but when I woke up this morning, I see the white patches in my throat. I am going to make an appointment to see the Dr. tomorrow.

I made it all winter without getting too sick. I only had the one ear infection but no strep. I am praying that this is not strep this time. My Dr. said that the next time I got it that we would seriously have to talk about having my tonsils taken out. NO!!!!! I don't wanna!!

Well, when I go tin there tomorrow she is going to get an earful. I am not gonna get surgery... Uhn Uhn, now way not gonna happen... Then she will say that I need to take my allergy meds EVERY day (which I don't) and use the Netti Pot to clean out my sinuses. I will say ok (I'm lying) and then go get my drugs--amoxicillin and diflucan... for the you know where b/c antibiotics have that effect on me.

But I won't take that allergy mess everyday nor will I put salt water UP MY NOSE!!!! Nope, not gonna happen! (That is my stubbornness!)

Sassy

Great News!!!

Wow! it has been awhile since I have posted! The month of February was the longest and coldest that I can remember... If it snowed one more time I was going to shoot somebody!!! This is North Carolina doggone it! Now, we have touches of spring... warm weather means pedis, so I am making an appointment to the spa as soon as I can get another free moment...

Now to my news... I bought a car!!! Yay me!!! Finally, i was able to get rid of that thousand year old Saturn... I bought a 2002 black Jetta. Yes, i know that it is not new, but it is new to me. Since the repo of the Altima from the marriage with the devil, I have had jacked up, i mean JACKED up, credit. My ex brother in law, D, hooked me up... He dropped the price $2500 , but with the interest rate, somebody is still getting that money. Oh well, I look at it as a way to rebuild my credit so I can purchase a home. That is my ultimate goal. When I graduate I will be sitting pretty with a $10,000 a year increase in salary and decent credit... Thank you Jesus!!!

I have to give Him the praise because He is the one that made this possible. No, I don't want to make a car payment and yes, I will be stretched, but I won't be sitting on the side of I-40 anymore with my kids...

Back to the car... It is black with beige cloth interior, power windows and locks (thank ya, the Saturn did not have them) and a sunroof. I love it!!! The best part is that even though it is 7 years old, it only had 58,000 miles on it!!!! I will post pics soon. This is the first car that I have purchased by myself. Phillip (the devil) and I bought the Mazda and the Altima together and my parents paid for most of the Saturn.

I am so happy!!! I am thankful for the chance to purchase this car and praying to God that He helps mt to keep it. I guess that I need to look for a summer job... I applied to Harris Teeter for a cashier position. I hope that I get it. It is less than a 1/2 mile from the house. I am also going to apply at my favorite store-- JC Penney. I hope that I get that one and that I don't spend up all of my money there... LOL

Good nite all, I need to get ready for church tomorrow because it will be daylight savings times-- a loss of one hour of sleep, but more daylight for the sunroof!!!!

Also, I am so stoked that I, me, have a follower... I guess that I have to post more often. My life is not that interesting though, but THANKS!!! for wanting to know more about Sassy me!!!

Peace, love and wind blowing through my blowout,

Sassy

Valentine's Day

This weekend is Valentine's Day. Some part of me is excited about the event this weekend, but there are some parts of me not so excited. I have lots of things going for me like school, my future and great kids, but I have no man... I miss sex... I really miss sex... I could have a man if I were going to have sex before marriage, but that ain't happening. So, here I sit, trying to fulfill my sexual needs with my kids, reading, school work and food. I have been going heavily on the food... but that's another post.

I hope that this singles event will be fun. If I can have fun and loosen up a bit I might be able to quit thinking about SEX! I need to stop reading Eric Jerome Dickey. He is sooo steamy in his sex scenes. MMM so good. But I wish that P and I could hook up.I know that my weight is an issue for him, but I think we can be good together. But if he can't see that, maybe some other guy can. This singles event is supposed to open up more guys to me but there will only be other chicks there so my purpose for the event is defeated! Maybe somebody will bring some guys. I have to stay positive and realize that God will send me the man for me when he think that it is time. (but I am impatiently waiting)

I am praying that some things will turn around for me this month. God, you know how I love You and what I need from You. I know that what You have planned for me is great so I need to stay in Your will, and seek You first.

Doing that will ensure my success!!! I love You, Lord.

The 52nd Annual Grammy Awards-- my version

There are so many things that I can say about the Grammys. I am so happy that there is no school tomorrow so I can stay up and blog about them. As a kid my Nazi mother would not let us stay up on Sunday night to watch, so of course I let my kids watch! I AM NOT MY MOTHER!!!
I love you Momma!!!

THis is my take on the Grammys.
LADY GAGA/ ELTON JOHN- what is up with this chick? Was she abused? I dont get it. She used to look normal.

GreenDay--awesome!!! I would love to see the musical.

Beyonce--- will that Single Ladies song EVER die. She is so unoriginal . The video is totally ripped off from back in the day. Her set was not a good look. She came out like she was Janet Jackson in Rhythm Nation and Tina Turner in Mad Max and the Thunderdome. Then she had to nerve to put Alanis in her set, no, NEVER. Bey, listen to me. Have Camel's baby, get fat like Momma Tina, do some drugs to get skinny for your "comeback" and then do Dr. Drew's Celeb Rehab. That was free, from me to you.

PINK-- I love her, She can really sing and is kinda crazy/edgy but I like her. She's got a cute bod, though. I was too busy looking at her twirling on the ribbons. I don't even remember the song she was singing.

Taylor Swift-- I like her. I am not sure that I would admit it on FB or anything, but I like her. She seems normal and wholesome, much better than the rest of these poptarts. And she can actually sing!

Miley-- at least she has got some clothes on.

Black Eyed Peas-- What!!! do they have on? The beat is hot but I am not sure about the rest.... this is why I stick with gospel.... The band is nice though. Fergie is ugly, body is tight, butta face...

Lady Antebellum-- ????

Who is that fine man with Kaley Cuoco? MMMM yum

Finally Beyonce did not win something!!! Go Kings of Leon, I don't know who you are, but you beat her!

Jamie Foxx and T-Pain-- Love Jamie but Auto tune needs to die! Oh wow!!! Doug E Fresh came out and Slash killed it!!!

Katy Perry is cute... Alice Cooper, no.

I'd rather see LL Cool J than Chris O'Donnell.

The Zack Brown Band killed America-- sounding like the Gatling Bros. Harmonize boo! Ya'l betta play that guitar!

On Facebook most of my friends are bored with the country, but I am diggin' this. I mean, I wouldn't but buy their CD, but they are cool.

Taylor Swift--- sang girl! Ok, she is not so great. I guess that she is not a live performer. Maybe she's nervous. Now, i like that "You Belong with Me" song, but tonight it is not good.

Right now I am anxiously awaiting the Micheal Jackson tribute. I can't wait to see his kids. Yes!!! Lionel Ritchie is up so it must be the tribute. I do not know why they had Carrie Underwood and Celine up here. And where did everyone get the 3D glasses? Nobody told me. Jennifer looked wonderful. She sang just as good. I wish that they had sung something else. Anyway, the kids looked good. Jermaine's kids looked like they had just walked out of the plastic surgery clinic. BWAHHHH HAAA HAAA!!! I crack myself up!

Yes, Jon BonJovi can act and he is cute for a white cat, but why do I want to listen to three of his songs?

Mos Def, I love smart cats!!

Sing Mary J. She looks awesome. That dress is beautiful on her. I wish that she would go back to darker hair though. The blond is dated. But she is an awesome talent singing with and holding her own with one of opera's greats!

I like that cool white boy vibe that Dave Matthews has.

Ricky Martin still looks good, even though he is gay, And Lea Michele is the bomb. I love Glee! That girl can sing!

I don't have anything to say about that paperclip dress... smh

James Todd Smith showed up for me... I love you LL!!!

Maxwell and Roberta! Love it. She sang her little old heart out.

Les Paul-- I know him. Guitars. I guess Phillip did teach me a little something...

Why even put Lil Wayne on TV if 75% of what he is saying is beeped out?!?!??! What is the Drake hype all about?

So I Googled the #1 song of my birthday and i got a Carpenters song! I am not that old.

Ut Oh Taylor, Look out for Gay Fish!!! Yay, she beat Beyonce!!!

Well folks, that was the end of the Grammy's. There were no real suprises and the MJ tribute was so-so. I did think that I was HI-LARIOUS though.

Good night Folks!!!

UUUGGGG!

SCHOOL WORK!

Been a While

It has been a while since my last post. Much has happened. My new classes have started, my kids have started exams and God has been blessing!!! I am so happy about the things that he has started. I had a coworker ask me about my upcoming student teaching and the fact that I had to quit my kob to complete that. She then told me that she and another coworker were trying to solicit funds for a scholarship for me!!!! Ain't my God good! The fast has been going well and I have truly felt His presence in service. The Spirit has been high! Today's Word was good too. I felt so good...

I am excited about all of the other things that God has in store for me.

I almost forgot, I kinda enjoyed myself on Friday night at the Hope Cafe. The live music, spoken word and comedy were interesting. It was good to get out with other adults in a Christian atmosphere and be home by 10PM! I hope to do it again soon. Maybe this Friday. I will be sure to eat before I go and just buy a coffee or dessert.

Ya'll be good now!

Happy New Year!!!!

Hello All,

I pray that your New Year's festivities have left you feeling well! I had a good time at church last night and got to be quite early... I wish I could have gotten up early to catch the sales, but alas, I am still in the bed.
I'm getting ready to get a roasted chicken and eat that with turnip greens and black eyed peas for a late lunch!!! Yummm!!! This southern tradition signifies the good luck that one will have with money by eating the greens (dollar bills) and black eyed peas (pennies/coins). I don't believe in the luck, I just love to eat them!!

I have a New Year's Wish and Prayer for you all... May God richly bless you and may you let Him guide your life!!!! Actually, having Jesus guiding your life is a rich blessing. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all of these things will be added unto you!!

Sassy