Life As I Know It...

Life has been really hectic. I cannot seem to keep up with my school work, my kids are losing their minds, my daddy is having a tumor removed from his kidney, the Young Buck has moved on....

There are so many things that have happened, I can't keep up!!

I had to cut my hours on my 2nd job, in order to catch up, so that cuts into my money. The Ex hubby is still not consistent with  giving my money. Y'all please pray for me!

I am not that concerned about the Young Buck. It wasn't really going anywhere. Whatev....

D was caught smoking cigarettes after school one day. His dad did come to get in his face about that, but that was the last time they saw him... 2 weeks ago. D gave him a good cussin out though! Told him that I was his mom and DAD and that he could kick rocks!

J is playing lacrosse and doing well, but his grades leave much to be desired. He is doing well enough to be in sports and that is all.

I am so tired of being a parent on my own. This really sucks. i love them, but I want them gone-- only because I am sick of being solely responsible for them.

My dad got sick at the beginning of this year and went to the ER. There were several possibilities for his constant dehydration and the final diagnosis is a tumor in/on the kidney. I do not know specifics becuase I cannot handle it right now. His surgery is March 31st and they will not know if they can save the kidney until they get in there. I am praying for his complete healing and recovery. His is my everything... my dad, my
champion, my mediator with my mom, the father my kids need, my sounding board--My Daddy!!!!

I have this off my chest, so i can go to bed tonight. It has been weighing heavily in my spirit.

Good night all

School's Out (almost) for the Summer!!!

I am so glad that this school year is almost over. I am so sick of these kids that I don't know what to do!!! Last year we had a rough crew. These were some "inner city " kids that were bussed in because they didn't want the year round option. I say "inner city" because in the big NC we have some rough stuff, but we ain't got nothin' on DC and NYC. The year before that we had project kids. I have been told stories of how daddy stole mommy's van while he was drunk and turned it over on the highway, that the police came into my house last night and everybody had to lay on the floor until it was over and that we ate dry cereal by candle light for dinner last night. Now those kids have an excuse for getting out of pocket and acting crazy at school.

But this year, the little white suburban kids we have are driving me crazy!!! They are the biggest bunch of entitled M-F's I have EVER seen. If I am talking to another teacher or student they think that they have to right to talk. And these are kindergartners-- they talk about NOTHING!!! Even if we tell them to shut it, they go right back to talking when we start our conversation again. Talking is just the half of it. They run and push to get into line to go anywhere... Lunch, bathroom, outside... I bet they would push each other down the stairwell to HELL!!! One girl in my after care program ran to be the first in line for water. She fell over her Crocs and BROKE HER ARM!!!!! Just so she could be first.

Today there was pushing, teasing, tattling, back talking... all before lunch. Alexandra was crying because Gabriella told her that the cat would pull down her pants. WTH??? I liked to have slapped them both. (For my Northern friends, "liked to" means almost... not sure if you knew that) Then Elijah says, Ash-ur (that's how he says Asher) says I have on a tutu. (eyes rolling so hard that they are stuck in the back of my head for 15 seconds) I just point to the other side of the room. Go. A. Way. Then I start praying aloud:

"Lord Jesus. I can't do this anymore. It is only 11.00. School just started at 9.00. Why me God? Didn't I give enough in the offering? Didn't I visit the sick and shut in? I didn't spare the rod in my own home. What did I do to deserve this? "

I open my eyes to see 20 pairs of eyes staring, mouths agape, bodies still. My co- teacher is at her desk dying from laughter. I stifle a smile and say, "What'chu looking at? I am praying 'cause I must have done something to make you act this way."

Elijah stands up and says. "Nope. We're just bad!" and he goes back to making his word family chart.

What do you say to that?

I wish I could line them up and beat them. I would take a flyswatter and tear up some tails!!! Just two more days!!! I told them today that they didn't have to come back. They had passed kindergarten and I'd mail them their report card. Bad aren't I? (smile)

I hope that the next two days are better. Like I told them today... we can have a good 3 days or a not so good 3 days. It is their choice. From the looks of today it is gonna be a rocky rest of the week!!!

Lord, help!!!!