Here I am a couple of days out from "the betrayal". I have decided to move on, get a new attitude. The old low self esteem dialogue was going overtime today. It has been many years since I have had these thoughts. Nothing suicidal, but disturbing none the less. I will not be a lonely spinster with a houseful of cats, nor will I be bedridden and obese with others to take care of my basic needs because I have become addicted to the comfort of food! **shivers** My biggest nightmares!
My first step to keep myself from falling in the pit of depression was to sign up for Plenty of Fish .com. and Christian Mingle.com. I have had a few hits already, but I can't see myself with any of them because they don't remind me of the Professor. I know, sue me. There was one fwiooone one on the Christian Mingle that I "smiled" at. I really want to find a man that will not try to have sex with me before marriage or will want to drink or do drugs. The drinking and drug use are DEAL BREAKERS. I can try to deal with fighting for my virtue! LOL The guy that I smiled at could get it anytime....
The funny thing is that I have had many profile views from white guys! Who knew? This is probably gonna be the subject of another post, but with all of the message boards out there that say black women are hos, baby mommas or bitter unmarrieds that nobody wants, I was supposed to see that my profile had been viewed by almost as many white guys as black guys!!!!!
So, I guess that I will survive. I will find that special one for me very soon. I just have to be patient.
I mean that I was **surprised** to see that my profile had been viewed by as many white guys as black guys.
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