I am so angry right now! I cannot believe how I have a been played or played myself. So I have been obsessing about the Professor for many months now. I really thought that he liked me. I mean, I really did. How could I have gotten his signals wrong? I feel stupid! So, the fact that he really isn't into me is not as bad as knowing who he is possibly really into. Do you remember this post? Well, the same old chick that tried to turn my nephew out is messing with my man. I mean, really? Really? In November/December you were going to get married, in April you were pledging your love to my teenage nephew, now in July you are sliding up next to my man! She is scandalous! And this is in the church!!!!!! That is what I cannot wrap my head around! In the house of God she is acting like this. Doesn't she know that people are looking at her? I don't like her anyway, so this is one more thing to add to the list.
I am a little slow, I guess because now that the Professor's sister has given me the scoop I see that it was obvious. She has been on his jock since Memorial Day. Even today at choir rehearsal she almost knocked me down to stand next to him. I found out that they even went out to lunch right around Father's Day. I am floored. I can get that he is not into me, that's okay. But the fact that he has taken up with this trick is beyond belief. And she KNOWS how I feel about him. She often teases me about him, but now that I think about it she has stopped doing that in the last 4 or 5 weeks.
After all of the raging I did after I found out, I just felt so bad about myself. I mean, what is wrong with me? How can he give this illiterate, selfish, stuck up, classless girl a second look. All she has is light skin , long hair and a nice body. I know that men are attracted to the external, but everybody knows that she has nothing going on upstairs. P wants a woman who can be sociable with his business, a woman who can hold a conversation on her own about various subjects, a woman who can challenge and stimulate his thinking. We have discussed this on a couple of occasions. This girl cannot do that. Maybe I am not the one for him, but I know that this broad is definitely not for him.
I feel betrayed. I don't know what else to do.... I just give up.
Hi Sassy,
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel. It's messed up when you like someone and you find out that they are giving someone else more energy than you. You try to compare yourself to the 'chosen one' and always come up that you are the better choice. The messed up thing is that you end up not being HIS choice. I guess since you have conceded, do you think you let him know how you felt (note the past tense use of the word) about him. You may not want to dog her out to him though unless you're ready to deal with her coming at ya?
You might feel better just telling him. I know that I did that with Hot Chocolate from my blog. Hell at least he knew I was bothered by the way he acted if nothing else. ????
I have not been entirely forthcoming or direct with how I felt about him. I have given him big, direct hints, but I haven't said, "P, I really have feelings for you and I want to see how things go." I just don't get down like that. He and I have had talks about finding the right person before so we both know what the other is looking for. I have just hinted that I was the one for him.
ReplyDeleteI have thought about saying something to him but I don't want to look like an even bigger fool. I could tell by the way he looked at me on Sunday that he knew something was up with me. I don't know if my expression was so torn down and depressed or if he knew he had done me wrong.
I have decided that I was not going to waste any more energy on this. The low self esteem dialogue was running overtime today. I have got to kill that before I am standing on the overpass.
Thank you for your comment. Life goes on.