I give up...

I am so angry right now! I cannot believe how I have a been played or played myself. So I have been obsessing about the Professor for many months now. I really thought that he liked me. I mean, I really did. How could I have gotten his signals wrong? I feel stupid! So, the fact that he really isn't into me is not as bad as knowing who he is possibly really into. Do you remember this post? Well, the same old chick that tried to turn my nephew out is messing with my man. I mean, really? Really? In November/December you were going to get married, in April you were pledging your love to my teenage nephew, now in July you are sliding up next to my man! She is scandalous! And this is in the church!!!!!! That is what I cannot wrap my head around! In the house of God she is acting like this. Doesn't she know that people are looking at her? I don't like her anyway, so this is one more thing to add to the list.

I am a little slow, I guess because now that the Professor's sister has given me the scoop I see that it was obvious. She has been on his jock since Memorial Day. Even today at choir rehearsal she almost knocked me down to stand next to him. I found out that they even went out to lunch right around Father's Day. I am floored. I can get that he is not into me, that's okay. But the fact that he has taken up with this trick is beyond belief. And she KNOWS how I feel about him. She often teases me about him, but now that I think about it she has stopped doing that in the last 4 or 5 weeks.

After all of the raging I did after I found out, I just felt so bad about myself. I mean, what is wrong with me? How can he give this illiterate, selfish, stuck up, classless girl a second look. All she has is light skin , long hair and a nice body. I know that men are attracted to the external, but everybody knows that she has nothing going on upstairs. P wants a woman who can be sociable with his business, a woman who can hold a conversation on her own about various subjects, a woman who can challenge and stimulate his thinking. We have discussed this on a couple of occasions. This girl cannot do that. Maybe I am not the one for him, but I know that this broad is definitely not for him.

I feel betrayed. I don't know what else to do.... I just give up.