Why Am I Pissed?

So my birthday has come & gone. I am now (whisper) 37. I had a good time with my parents eating and talking and doing mounds of homework. In the back of my mind I was thinking about when I was going to see the Young Buck & what we were doing for my birfday. I was so excited to get his texts and facebook wall post wishing me a happy birthday. He even texted me @ 4:30 am so that he would be the first to say happy birthday to me. I was sooo happy! I mentioned that I wanted to go to a jazz club on Saturday and he was like , "cool".
So what do I have to be pissed about? He never called! No text, call Fb message. NOTHING!!!!
I know, I know. I said no feelings. No expectations. But there it is... A feeling, sitting in the corner waving at me.
I tried so hard to keep this light and just flirtatious, but it didn't work. What is wrong with me?

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Birthday Week!

So, I am on day three of my birthday celebration. It has been a great week. Too bad my Young Buck has been MIA. I think that it has to do with how upset I was about the Professor and his new woman. He has not been answering my texts all week. Hmmmm.
Anyway, I began celebrating on Sunday with my family @ a dinner buffet. Monday some of my students gave me gifts and some balloons. Today I received more cards and gifts. My team threw me a birthday breakfast as well. Then this afternoon we had chocolate chip cookies. Too. Much. Food.
Tomorrow I will be hitting the road to see the folks! I love having them all to myself before my sisters and brother come.
Saturday I will be back in town and I'll try to round up some folks to go out to a new jazz club in town. Good food, good music and good friends... Nothings better!

So have an outstanding Thanksgiving and I'll see ya l8ter!

SassyMe
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Where Do Broken Hearts Go ?

So, confession time again.. (I've been doin' lots of that lately.) LOL.
I was really feeling the Professor and I thought that he was feeling me some too (in his own dorky way). He has been distant and different in recent weeks, but I thought that it was because of my relationship with Young Buck. He acted funny when anybody mentioned him so I kinda stayed away and did my own thing. I would be cool when I saw him, but didn't really stay in his face.
Annnny wayyy, on Sunday Professor brought his new woman to church! Shut the front door! I was beside myself, but I kept it cool. She was the typical LSLH & wasn't even cute. Well, she kinda was. But the point is this.... I REALLY thought that one day the Professor & I would get our stuff together & be together. I know that it could still happen, but the odds are against it.
I asked my good guy friend who I consider my big brother what was up with P. He said that P didn't really want me, but he wants me to want him. That's why he is engaging me in conversation and flirting when I am not paying him any mind.
I think that Bone is right about that, but it still hurts. Now why does it hurt, because I feel like a fool or because I really wanted him? Both.
But the good part is that I told my Young Buck about it last night. He hugged me real tight and told me that it would be okay. He said that I was too good for P and that I was still cute as a button. He kissed me on my forehead and was so sweet. Awwww! That's why I like him so much! He knows that he is just my side piece and he can play his position like a champ! Maybe since the Professor is out of the picture he can have the #1 spot.
I am still sad because I know that I have wasted years on this man that I won't get back. Also, I can't let the Youngin really get the top spot because he is a youngin.
What is a girl to do? What if my Young Buck decides that he wants to get into a relationship with someone else closer to is age and that our fun is over? What if I only get hit and quit offers and no man wants me? I get lots of one night offers, men just want to get some and not have a relationship.... Such is life, I guess.

I guess I should not dwell on the negative, but focus on the positive.... Can anyone tell me what that is?

Yours in sassiness,

SassyME
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Is the break over yet?

I am so sprung over the young buck. We are still "claiming" to be just friends, but can't stay away from each other.
I have purposely not texted or Facebooked him because I am trying to keep the break in place, but it is difficult.
When I saw him last week he grabbed me and hugged me so hard that it took my breath away! He smelled great as usual. Mmmmm. He is not making this easy at all... I guess he forgot that we agreed to step back. Right. He is still trying to hit, but I ain't no little girl that he can fool. (Whatever, I need to pray to keep my knees together)

Oh, I've got to send a shout out to my friend Prettyface and her man. They are the only friends I've shared this blog with. It was tough to allow them to see me so vulnerable and naked, but I pride myself on being honest so I guess I can share with them. I ain't perfect, even though I try to be.

This month is my birthday and I intend to celebrate to the fullest! Y'all keep prayin for me!
SassyMe
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Test of mobile blogger. :)

Something funny happened in kindergarten...

So I go to pick up my class from Music class and the teacher is standing in the hall with the school guidance counselor. THey have their heads together and when the counselor looks at me she turns red and snickers. I'm like, huh, whassup? THe music teacher is so red in the face and undone that she cannot speak. I looik at my kids and they are standing in line with their heads down. I'm like, give me a break. Am I gonna have to break something off in y'all when we get back to the room? Anyway, the teacher whispers to me that she found a pair of girls undies on the floor under a chair. She is positive that they were not there at the beginning of class. She asked if anyone was missing any panties but no one claimed them. (SIGH) The counselor is in full hysterics now, because she knows that I am going to have to get to the bottom of this. I would have slapped her if my class wasn't standing right there!

So, I take the class back to the room and have the boys play the Quiet Game while I take the girls to the back of the room. Now, how was I gonna do this? Am I going to ask them to drop trou, and show me or what? The Holy Ghost (thank you!) gave me the idea to have them pull down their waist bands and let me see the top of their panties... All accounted for!

I was still perplexed at where the panties had come from so I asked the boys to join me in the back of the room while the girls played the Quiet Game. We repeated the process and all undies were accounted for, almost... Arthur told me that he never wore underpants!!!! OMG! A kindergartener going COMMANDO! too much! Well that gave me a much needed laugh for the end of a rough week!

We're on a Break...

Ok, so I am a Christian single mother with too much on my plate right now. Why did I think that I could keep fooling around with the Young Buck? I had to let him go. I gots the sads now.

Ok let me be truthful and stop leading y'all on. I have to take a break because I am really going through something right now. I did nto want to share this on my blog since I have put myself out there as a saved person who is not having sex, but if I cannot be honest on my own blog, then where can I be honest?

No... I have not fallen to the temptation of dredlocks trailing along my naked body, but I have thought about scratching the kitty on one man who wants it bad-- my ex husband. He is terribly jealous of Young Buck so it is not hard to get him to oblige me in this way. We even made a date to play hooky from work and have a sex fest ALL day while our children are at school. It was going to be GRRRREAT! That boy can put it on meh!!! I mean for real....

Well, The Great Screwfest 2010 isn't going to happen. No, not because i came to my senses and called it off. The ex cannot take off that day. Crisis averted, no, we made a date for about 2 weeks from now. My body wants this SOOOO bad. It has been YEARS!!!!!

So, I have confessed what I have been up to and I am ashamed. I know that feeling this way is normal, but for me to make plans to do it and really really want to is not right. I hope that I can keep myself from doing it, but I really need this....

I am so torn, I want to be open and honest on my blog about what I am going through, but I also want to draw others to Christ through my posts. I don't think that I am doing a great job of soul winning with my mind in the state it is in right now. Please don't judge me. If you are a praying oerson and you can get a prayer through, pray for me. I need all I can get....

I did put the breaks on the thing with the Young Buck because I did not want to go there with him. Our group has to go into the studio in the next few weeks and a sexual relationship would completely ruin what we have. I do think that he has got me a little sprung though.--- Cest la vie!