We're on a Break...

Ok, so I am a Christian single mother with too much on my plate right now. Why did I think that I could keep fooling around with the Young Buck? I had to let him go. I gots the sads now.

Ok let me be truthful and stop leading y'all on. I have to take a break because I am really going through something right now. I did nto want to share this on my blog since I have put myself out there as a saved person who is not having sex, but if I cannot be honest on my own blog, then where can I be honest?

No... I have not fallen to the temptation of dredlocks trailing along my naked body, but I have thought about scratching the kitty on one man who wants it bad-- my ex husband. He is terribly jealous of Young Buck so it is not hard to get him to oblige me in this way. We even made a date to play hooky from work and have a sex fest ALL day while our children are at school. It was going to be GRRRREAT! That boy can put it on meh!!! I mean for real....

Well, The Great Screwfest 2010 isn't going to happen. No, not because i came to my senses and called it off. The ex cannot take off that day. Crisis averted, no, we made a date for about 2 weeks from now. My body wants this SOOOO bad. It has been YEARS!!!!!

So, I have confessed what I have been up to and I am ashamed. I know that feeling this way is normal, but for me to make plans to do it and really really want to is not right. I hope that I can keep myself from doing it, but I really need this....

I am so torn, I want to be open and honest on my blog about what I am going through, but I also want to draw others to Christ through my posts. I don't think that I am doing a great job of soul winning with my mind in the state it is in right now. Please don't judge me. If you are a praying oerson and you can get a prayer through, pray for me. I need all I can get....

I did put the breaks on the thing with the Young Buck because I did not want to go there with him. Our group has to go into the studio in the next few weeks and a sexual relationship would completely ruin what we have. I do think that he has got me a little sprung though.--- Cest la vie!