Update on The Devil

Not only did this MF'er move another woman into his house with MY kid, but he moved a pregnant one in! Yes, I said it, PREGNANT. So now when his baby is 17 years old, this nigga is about to have another baby.

But, she lost it last week. I am not sad. I kinda think that I should feel bad about that, but I don't.

THE END

I'm Sorry Momma, I Must Be A Fool

So, for all that bravado and trash talking a few months ago, I am in poor condition now. I tried to keep him out of my head, but it didn't work. We started seeing each other again after Memorial Day and then boom, out of the blue, he stops seeing me and then finally drops a bombshell.

He has kicked his girlfriend out and is moving another woman in... What!??!?! I am DEAD! I feel as if I cannot go on...

I am such a wreck that I don't know what to even say or do.... just now able to post. I don't want to think or really talk about this, but if I can't do it here on this blog, where can I be honest.

I love him with every fiber of my being. I am tortured at the fact that he has dumped me again and I let him do this to me. I feel more than foolish... I am so angry with myself and that I have wasted another year of my life on this man. This will translate into 2 years, because I feel almost like I am going through my divorce all over again. So I won't feel like talking to anyone or even feel like I can trust anyone else for a loooonnngggg time. I think that this loss of time is upsetting me the most.

I cannot even talk about it anymore...

Sister's Night Out!!!

Happy Saturday!!! I had a great Memorial Day Weekend, how about you?

**** WARNING  Long Post Ahead....**** 

My sisters and I went out on Saturday night. It was great. I can't wait to do it again. We usually are really good little Christian mommas and wives that eat at Cheesecake Factory or PF Chang's and are home by midnight. But NOT this time....

It all started out innocently enough. We were going to the Cajun restaurant up the street from my house. Karaoke and crab cakes on tap... Well, I read the website wrong and there was an awful live band instead of Karaoke and the food was NOT good at all. After the lackluster performances and food, we decided to hit the other location of this restaurant... in downtown.

We sang and laughed all the way there. I was so excited for some reason. I was looking cute with the blowout and skintight jeans. Anywhooo, we finally find a park right in front of the joint, and who's car did I see?? You guessed it... The Devil, himself. Oh great!!! Anyway...

We hit the door... Me, CaraMEL, Sonnie and Lil' Mama... lipgloss poppin', hoops sparklin;, boobs pumped up and shined!! I was ready!!! The band was doing okay and I couldn't see The Devil on the keys, so I went up to the bar on the 2nd floor and scoped the place. Very mixed crowd... I loved it. Then, I heard it... those nimble, sexy fingers on the keys. My heart dropped, but my stomach got that familiar feeling in it. That man has magic fingers in making music and making love. Ham--burger!!! Wheww!!!

Anyway, I headed downstairs, and started dancing, right in from of him. I talked to his brother, who was there, cheating on his wife (runs in the family). I danced right in between them. It pissed that old lady off! When I say old, I mean sistah had many, many miles on her, but she looked as if she had some money to offset those miles. And bruh was clean too. She had him decked out head to toe in Banana Republic. While his wife was at home with the sixteen y.o. daughter, nineteen y.o. daughter and 5 m.o. grandson... I bet there was no Henn and Coke flowing in there!

That's not my affair, she knows he cheats, she still stays cause she's older too and she feels she can't do any better... I guess... movin' on...

I let old lady get back on her young meat and I danced around having a ball. At about 12:30, the band took a break. The Devil went directly outside past me not saying a word. The DJ started playing some music and my girls and I hit the floor again. I was a little worried that he was mad that I was there. I looked around for his gf, but I didn't see her. She wasn't there at all. Next thing I knew, I was approached by this tall, bald white guy. He had been standing there a few minutes admiring us sistah's shaking our groove thangs! He came up to me during a lull in the music and asked if a "sistah" would dance with a "white dude". I said, "ask, you never know what you might get". Long story short, he asked, I said yes, and we danced!!! He was a little tipsy, so he swung me around some, was off beat... a lot, and pushed up on me HARD!!! Very handsy... I panicked a little bit, because I don't know this dude!!! Lil' Mama took some pictures of us dancing. I may post one... maybe... All of a sudden, my girls had surrounded us and I wasn't sure what was going on. After we finished dancing, I found out that some white girls had started pushing up cause they didn't want me dancing with him. They closed ranks because they know that I would go off because of that!!  Now, one of those chicks might have been his girlfriend or something, but this is not what they want! No static people!!!

By then the mood was gone and we decided to head home. As we walked through the crowd I looked for The Devil, but he was no where to be found. The mommy mini van was parked right out front, so as we were waiting for the traffic to move so that we could pull out, guess who knocks on the window and scared us half to death?? Yep, The Devil. He said, "you're gonna leave without speaking?" Oh, boy! Anyway, he chatted it up with us for a while and then had to go back in to start the last set.

The conversation was innocent, but I was turned on!!! It's not the first time I've seen him since he started trippin', so I don't know why he effected me this way! Of course, I texted him when I got home. Y'all don't need to know what I said, just know that I shouldn't have done it...

Anyhoo, that was Sister's Night Out!!! It was fun and I want to do it again. Since Lil Mama is moving out of state at the end of July, there will be more of these little outings to discuss!!!

~from the Sassiest Girl on the Block

Me and Mine

"There is only one type of relationship... the relationship between two people. You can only have ONE at a time. This is so sick. You're right. Desperate women allow this to happen so that that can "have" a man and he can "have" EVERYBODY! It seems like a man cannot love and be faithful to one woman, but I am believing God that there are men out there that can and will.

Before I take any of this stuff to heart, I have to consider the source.

 *** Jada and Will-- something fishy is up with them. Like Shakespeare said- "Me thinks they doth protest too much." Why do you have to put your sex life out there like that? When me and mine are good, the smile on my face is ALL that you need to know to know the status of my relationship."   

This is a draft of something I wrote months ago... before Christmas. I have no idea what was going on in my head or life at this time, but I must have been fired up about something!!! But, I must say that what I wrote was true... God HAS to have a faithful man out there for me!!!

P.S. School's almost out for the summer!!!! So excited! What are your summer plans?

Guess Who???

Well, here it is, just a mere 2 days since my last post that had me happy dancing because I was over The Devil... guess who called me just as I got home today? Of course.

 He is going out of town for business and he's leaving our 18 year old home alone. He called to ask me to check on him. Really? Okay. Well, of course I talked to him for about an hour.. about the kids, me, him, work, whatever.

He still says that he loves me. I just didn't even react. I just kept talking. He is really getting to me. I won't believe anything that he says because he isn't proving anything to me with his actions. 

I've got my head up and I'm moving forward!!! I can't let this stop me from moving on.

Sassiest Girl on the Block!

Am I Really Moving On!?!??!

I have not talked to him in about 2 weeks, other than discussing our kids. He hasn't really initiated any of our conversations. I called him because I needed to know what the outcome of a meeting at J's school was and he wanted to know how Lil D was feeling after being sick. It really hurt for a few days, but oddly today I thought to myself ,"Hmmm. I haven't thought of him all day. For a couple of days, in fact."

So there, I am cured! Even as I am writing this I don't feel sadness or pain. Maybe I'm really done. But as sure as I am standing here, he will call me sometime soon and I will be faced with the pain of it again.... It ALWAYS happens this way!!!!!!

On an unrelated sidenote: I cried like a fool today watching The Color Purple for the 100 millionth time. How many times am I going to cry while watching Shug Avery run back to her Daddy's church singing, "God Is Trying to Tell You Something"? PMS is a B*TCH!

At least I am feeling better about The Devil and our lack of relationship. Today. Tomorrow is another story.

Sassy Still Plays the Fool

I love him. He loves me, but not as much as I love him. I'm ready to take to the relationship level. He's not. He told me not to wait on him...

Moving on..... cause my momma didn't raise no fool.

Same old stuff, different day

Me and Devil again... Tuesday night, at out oldest son's lacrosse game, he told me how much he loved me, was working on getting out of the relationship he was in and wanted to remarry me one day soon.  Yeah, he was trippin'. Of course, it all sounds really good, but I've been screwed by him too many times before. I'm just sitting back, listening and observing. He just went on and on about how he made a mistake...blah, blah, blah...

So, after his soul bearing session on Tuesday night, I have not heard from him until today.
I called him a couple of times this week and he either didn't answer or was really distant. I only talked to him today because we were exchanging the youngest and we had to determine a place to meet.I called him out on ignoring me this week and he said that he was busy, that it was a bad week. I said, so- I had a hard week too. I told him that I thought that his declarations of love were real on Tuesday, but that if I was on the wrong page, PLEASE correct me. He didn't say anything, so I just ended the call.

When I met him to pick up Lil D, he had all kinds of intense looks, like he wanted to take me right then and there. I just ignored him. We made plans to go to J's next game, at our alma mater and then I jetted.

What is up with this? Getting on my nerves... What is he trying to do to me?

Is This Love Tied to My Va-jay-jay?

I've been hot and heavy with the ex for the past few weeks. We have yet to define anything, but my hormones have been trying to define it. When we are together all we do is have sex or TRY to have sex. It makes me feel like those K-Y Jelly commercials. All I can think about is "nutmeg" with him! If we can't have
Nutmeg, there is nothing much there. But I love him soooo much. He says he loves me sooooo much too. But are we in love with the feeling that nutmeg gives us?
Hmmmmm..... still thinking & feeling dumb...

What to do, what to do....

He says that he loves me, he says he wants to uncomplicate his life, he says we need to talk....

What do I say.... nothing... I'm hiding under the covers....

2011 Recap....

Wow, it has been a minute since I have been up here. Last we spoke I had gone on a date with a friend of a friend...BORING! So that didn't work out at all. I tried, but it just wasn't there.

I started student teaching and that was an experience. My cooperating teacher was a hot, mangled mess. I wanted to slap that ho' many a day. That is a story for a different day.

I finally graduated and I got a job even before I graduated!!! Whoo Hoo. I'm Miss Kindergarten Teacha, now! Started that job this week and I am sure that there will be many more stories about that, because my assistant is a trip!

The Young Buck and I decided that friendship was the way to go and lo and behold that boy just asked the chick with the big forehead to marry him, on New Year's Eve! Jesus Wept!

My nephew D is still after these older women. He is now dating Young Buck's wife! I just can't with him anymore. We do not even discuss their relationship after I expressed concern about him dating S and he called me out about not having a man. I was through with him!

But he's right, I STILL don't have a man. Some days I'm okay, because I am trying to get my career off the ground and raise my kids, but other days I am depressed that there are no men in my life, and no real prospects. I am 38 years old and don't have anyone to spend my old age with!

BTW, I had a month long birthday celebration that I enjoyed immensely. 38 is hot!

I had a few rendezvous with my ex - the devil and they were great. The most recent being today. He just rocks my world! (**lmbo -Wanda , In Living Color). But he does. I wish I could get out from under his spell.

That has been my last half of 2011 and despite the not having a man thing, it was okay and I just know that 2012 is gonna be my year... for something!

Happy New Year everyone,

From the Sassiest Girl in the block! Mwah!